I Love You To The Moon and Back

Secrets & Truths

It was late at night, Reid could hear rain pouring outside his apartment, he sighed and went to the bathroom. The brunette looked into the mirror then rolled up his sleeves. He grabbed a bl4d3 and quickly drew a few lines on his arm, he couldn't go any longer like that. He never thought he would need to talk to someone but he did. There was one problem, who should he call? For sure not JJ or Garcia, they'll freak out. Neither Emily or Morgan, they're gonna try to kill everyone that hurt him. Not Rossi either, he wasn't sure how he would react about it. There was only one person Spencer thought would understand him. It was Hotch. He took out his phone and dialed his number.
- Hotchner - Reid heard through the phone.
- Hotch, I-.. How fast can you get to my apartment? - he asked not sure if he actually made the right choice, but it was too late to now hang up.
- Reid, what's happening? Is everything alright? - The man over the phone asked, his voice wasn't mad or serious as the brunette thought it would be, it sounded soft and worried.
- ye-yeah, just..need someone to talk to, if it's alright with you of course. - he stated still surprised, Hotch didn't disagree or said to get himself a therapist, he just hung up. Spencer rolled down his sleeves, 10 minutes didn't pass when Reid heard knocking. He walked to his door and opened them. The black-haired man walked in and Spencer lead him to the living room. They sat on the couch, in awkward silence.
- so what did you want to talk about? - Hotch asked and looked at Reid.
- I know you're my boss and all but you're the only person I can trust now with this. - he stopped, rolled up his sleeves and looked away with pain in his eyes, he didn't want to do it, but it became his habit.
- Reid, what-.. why did you do it? - he asked concerned about the younger man.
- I'm tired Hotch, tired of being treated like a encyclopedia, tired of always being treated like a small child. I'm 29 and I can't even go interrogate a UnSub without someone in the room with me. I feel like I'm never good enough, like I'm gonna end up alone with no one by my side. I hate it Hotch, I hate the feelings I get when I get back home and there's no one waiting for me. It's like I'm a ghost. - He didn't even realize when his eyes started to cry, he felt tears streaming down his cheeks.
- I'm sorry you feel that way Reid, I never knew this could affect you this much. I'm sure you'll find someone soon, but you have to promise me one thing. - he said calmly looking at the brunette. he lifted his arm up and held it, his touch was soft and his eyes calm.
- I'll try to stop, okay? - he said still crying a little bit. He looked at Hotch and their eyes met each other.
- do you remember what I said once, we were driving back from a case?" - He softly asked Spencer, but didn't break their eye contact.
- huh? - he seemed a little confused by that question. Yes he had an eidetic memory but there were so many cases.
- what I want... - he stopped and hoped the brunette would continue his words.
- you're not gonna get, yeah I remember it - but what did it had to do with situation right now? He remembered Hotch was talking about Haley and their divorce. it's been 3 since they got divorced but Hotch didn't really thought of dating, he barely seemed to be interested in looking for someone. They talked about him s3lfh4rming for a little then they both said goodbyes, just as he was about to leave, Reid asked him
- Could you..please not tell anyone from the team about tonight, I don't want them worried. - his soft voice and shiny eyes, made Hotch feel funny, like he never felt before.
- Of course - he stated and walked out of Reid's apartment, walked to his SUV and drove back home.

WORD COUNT: 701