Reprogrammed (Hunter Angst)

Faking It Until It Kills Me

During his fifth session with Mrs. Rose, he told her as much. He hated telling her sad things about himself, because she always got this look in her eyes. It was a mixture of pity, sadness, and... pain. It was as though she felt his pain alongside him. Hunter couldn't decide if he hated that look, or if he didn't mind it.

Their fifth session was also the first time he watched her write things down. She was filling out sheets of paper, writing down his answers, writing in her own thoughts, writing writing writing. At the end of their session, she did something different.

Mrs. Rose called Darius and Camila back into the room, and invited them both to sit. Darius sat across from Hunter, beanie on to conceal his magic. Camila sat right next to Hunter, giving his shoulder a reassuring rub. Hunter scratched at his arms. I've said something to worry her, now she has to tell Darius. I've made a terrible mistake, I was too honest, Darius is going to be angry with me.

"I'd like you to take Hunter to a psychologist. I believe that medication would be able to soothe many of his ailments, return functionality back to his life. Hunter is a very bright and mature young man, and with the help of medication, he could make great strides in his recovery." She stated. Hunter started to zone out.

Then, she ticked off a laundry list of things that she was officially diagnosing him with: Complex post traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, depression, insomnia. He spaced out for a moment, only to come back when she mentioned a word that he hadn't heard before.

"...Strong candidate for an autism diagnosis. I'd have to spend a lot more time working with him to be sure, but for now I have my suspicions."

Titan , he was so fucked up. Darius and Camila would have to spend even more time and money on him just to fix the things that he was somehow unable to fix himself. He felt like such a burden .

Darius told him later in the car that he got lucky, and they were able to squeeze in an appointment with a psychiatrist next weekend. He nodded at the man's words and opted not to respond. He wasn't really sure if he could respond, especially while he was feeling such an intense slew of emotions. The names of every diagnosis he had just received swirled around in his head.

"It seems like you're feeling a little overwhelmed baby," Camila was talking to him.

"I'm fine," Hunter's lips moved to respond without him ordering them to. His fingernails raked up and down the scars on his arms.

"Do you still want to stay the night at my house, or would you like to go back with Darius today?"

Hunter thought about the question, mulled it over in his head. Camila waited very patiently for him to answer, but he never did. Darius ended up making the decision to take him back through the portal early.

Eventually he was home, back at Darius's house. Homework sat half finished in his lap, and food sat uneaten in a bowl next to him. His scars hurt, arms red with the tracks his fingernails left behind.

Darius gently picked up one of his arms by the wrist, and flipped it so he could see the red lines. Gently, the older man rubbed a salve into the dry and damaged skin.