Something Greater (Something Great 2)

Chapter 70

"In her defence, she's told you a thousand times not to drink in the formal lounge, you know how to push her buttons. I think we both do, I can't really blame her for being the way she is.

She's also got another human growing inside of her, kicking about and making it impossible for her to sleep a full night without fidgeting around, sometimes I think she's almost too calm for the lack of sleep she gets."

"Okay, so why are you so pissed off then?" She asked me.

"Has your sister spoken to you about not loving me anymore? Or thinking I don't love her?"

If Jen was having these thoughts, her sister would be the first person she would tell. Hopefully she could give me some insight as to what the hell was going on in my relationship, because I was clearly ignorant to it.

"Ah no? She hasn't said a thing about that? You do still love her right? You're not going to abandon her and the baby are you?"

"What? No Samantha absolutely not. I love your sister more than anything in the world, I would never abandon her or my child. Is that what you think is going to happen? Is that what she thinks is going to happen?"

Did Jen think all this? Did she think I wasn't committed to us and our family?

"Oh my God relax, she hasn't said anything to me about any of this! You need to calm down and just talk to her, clearly you have some insecurities and I obviously can't help you."

Now I was making things up in my mind, working myself up over nothing at all. I knew the whole problem was me pushing her away the last couple of nights, she made that clear when she said was fat and ugly and I didn't need her anymore.

Of course I bloody needed her, I needed her since the first day I met her, in every way. She was insecure about her appearance now, and I hated that she thought the reason I didn't want to have sex was because she was larger than I'd ever known her to be.

I just needed to clear my head, and explain to her tonight what was happening in our relationship, and why there was a lack of intimacy between us lately. It had nothing to do with how she looked, but everything to do with how I felt, this was all on me.

"Do you need a lift to university or work or something? I'm headed to the studio for the day."

"Nah, I have the day off today so I'm just going to bum around, I'll see you later," she left me to myself.

I tried to call Jen again but she turned her phone off. Today was going to be a long day, I just hoped it got better from here.

...

Today's studio session was shit to say the least. I wasn't hitting the notes, I was forgetting the lyrics, and stumbling on the simplest of words. I thought it would help keep my mind off Jen, but it didn't.

"Harry mate, what's going on with you today? We had this ready and perfected two days ago," Niall called through from the production room.

"Just give me a minute Niall," I yelled out in frustration. I was pissed off at myself for messing everything up today, not only professionally, but in my personal life too.

Jen still wasn't texting back or answering my calls, which only distracted me more, resulting in me messing up everything during my recordings. This wasn't like me, I never performed like this.

"I think you're done for the day mate," Julian, one of our songwriters and producers, shut down production for the day.

"Whatever," I threw the headphones off myself, flinging the recording room door open and slumping down on the couch.