Chapter twenty-nine- This is it

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I walk to the door, feet shuffling. I groan, running my hand over my face, through my hair. As soon as the door opens I'm hit with the smell of food, my feet instantly carry me to the kitchen.
When I reach the kitchen I see Eric at the stove. Shirtless, his black sweat pants hang on his hips with his boxers peeking out from under them. I watch his back muscles and arms flex as he continues cooking what I assume is breakfast. How can someone be so perfect and such an ass at the same time… I can't imagine what is under…. I shake the thought away as my cheeks heat up.
I move slowly towards a chair and sit down as I continue to watch him. “Morning,” I say quietly. He spins around quickly, shocked.
“Holy shit Mer!”
“Sorry” I murmur with a small smile as my eyes scan him up and down. When I meet his eyes again he is smirking at me with a raised eyebrow, showing me he knows what I was just doing. My cheeks heat up even more and he chuckles.
“go sit down at the table i'll bring out the food”
I quickly hop off the island chair and walk over to the table.

Eric POV
As she walks over to the table I remember that she is only wearing my t-shirt. It's long enough to cover everything as long as she doesn't lift her arms or sit down… but even as she walks with a small sway of her hips I can't stop my mind from imagining the body underneath the shirt, or my hands roaming every curve. I slap myself mentally. I can't think about that, she isn’t just some girl, she is different, i don’t want to just sleep with her. I want more. I watch as she suddenly stretches, reaching her arms above her head and my shirt rides up, showing off her thighs.

 I watch as she suddenly stretches, reaching her arms above her head and my shirt rides up, showing off her thighs

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I quickly turn away from her knowing that if I see anymore I won't be able to control myself. The worst part is that it's all innocent, I can't get mad at her because she has no clue of the effect she has on me.

Mer’s POV
After breakfast Eric let me know that four had dropped off my stuff this morning. He then told me to take a shower well he cleaned up breakfast. I protested but he insisted, saying that after I was done we would sit down and talk about what needs to happen. So I took the chance to shower and I am so thankful I did because the shower was heavenly. Knowing that no one was going to barge in and rip the curtain down, and have good water pressure with warm water. It was the best shower I've had in my life. In abnegation they only had cold showers because apparently enjoying a warm shower was selfish. Then when I moved to dauntless, initiates rarely get warm water, and when we do the water pressure is bad. Not that you really can enjoy it, the girls are always too nervous that the guys are going to rip the curtain down so we shower as fast as possible.
When I finish my shower I put on a pair of jeans for the first time in forever, a tight cropped tank top and a large black and red flannel.

 	When I finish my shower I put on a pair of jeans for the first time in forever, a tight cropped tank top and a large black and red flannel

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I don’t remember buying the flannel but it looks familiar, i probably stole it off one of the guys and didn’t give it back. I blow dry my hair and throw in two braids. I put some mascara on like Cassy showed me and make my way back to the living room, looking for Eric.
I find him on the couch looking over something, “Hey, that shower is amazing” I say sitting down next to him.
He looks up at me and smiles, putting his paperwork down “I'm glad you enjoyed it.” He looks me up and down scanning my outfit, specifically the flannel. “Is that my shirt?” he asks with an arrogant smirk.
I look at it and it suddenly clicks, that's why it looks familiar. I recall Eric wearing it when he visited me well I was staying with my brother. Eric must have left it at fours and he thought it was mine and threw it in there.
“Oh sorry, i found it in my bag, four must have thought it was mine” I start rambling as i take it off. But Eric places his hand on leg stopping me.
“It’s fine, it looks better on you than me.” he says looking me in the eye.
Blood rushes to my cheeks and I quickly look away.
“So what did you want to discuss?”

* * *

Eric and I talked about what we were going to do. The initiates are now done training and I have the day left before the rankings come up. Eric told me that I need to get out into dauntless because my friends are being really annoying and always pestering him with questions.
I'm worried that I'm not going to make it. I missed a lot of initiation because of what happened and my experience wasn’t exactly normal because I had to train with the dauntless borns. But Eric has assured me that he has it all worked out with Max.
He has told me that after the rankings come out the initiates get 2 weeks off. Which is a new thing, the first week is completely free and then the second week is for half training purposes, just more for fun. After the second week, the second half of initiation starts, though that time the instructors still once and awhile bring all the initiats to the training room for practice, because in dauntless you can never lose your skill.
During the 2 weeks of break Eric and Four and Tris are going to be training me and I need to work my butt off to stay in initiation. Max will oversee my progress and if he says that it is good enough then I get to stay. I’m nervous but Eric says it's time I get my butt in gear and he's right. I can’t sit in a dark room all day, scared that Marcus will come and kill me. 
I now sit across from Eric, my thoughts are bouncing everywhere. The conversation took the whole day. There was some fighting but not too much. It's 6 o’clock and I haven't even told him everything, he doesn’t know about the medical problems or the pills or anything, only Cassy knows about that still. I don't know if I have the guts to tell him. I mean I haven't taken any pills since the attack. Only the ones four and tris gave me because I wasn't taking care of myself. Maybe I'm over it, and why worry Eric and four and tris when it's done. I’ll just keep taking the ones I was getting from my brother, they seemed to help and I was only taking the right amount since four was incharge of it. Ok its final, i won’t mention it. Now to tackle the second problem, Eric is making me go to the cafeteria for dinner and I’m too nervous. He's giving me 10 minutes to accept it and then we are heading out.
“Come on Mer, you can do this. Your friends miss you.”
I sigh and nod “ok, ok. Let's do this”
Together we head to the cafeteria. Life is finally going to change, I'm not going to be scared anymore.

This is it…

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