Ad Astra

Chapter 26

One afternoon, Alba stops by my bedroom to deliver a letter. I grab for it shakily, already knowing the sender. I am only thankful that there is no visitor waiting for me at the back gates this time around. I shut my door and take a seat at my desk, slowly opening the letter and bracing myself for its contents.

Dearest Fe, it begins.

I am most upset to hear that you will not be writing as often. I had thought you knew how much I enjoyed and appreciated your frequent letters. I grow quite worried when I do not know how you are doing, and though I have the ability to visit you, it is always difficult finding the right time.

Haukea is excelling profoundly in the royal guard. She writes to me many times a week to share stories of her time there. She is growing quite used to the castle and its inhabitants. She has even had the pleasure of interacting with the king and prince on multiple occasions. I had hoped, given your proximity to the princess, I might hear more tales from your days serving her.

I hope you find some time to write to me soon, and I hope the stories you share are more than enough to make up for your limited writing as of late. Do not overwork yourself in Esterpool. Know that your position is only temporary, and the princess can always find someone to replace you.

I hope to hear from you soon.

Elsie Holland

I fold the letter away slowly, not wanting to reread any portion. My mother's message is abundantly clear: continue writing with information, or I will be pulled from Esterpool. Only a short while ago, I was frightened by my failure to live up to her expectations, but now I fear leaving Asteria just as equally, if not more.

I bury my head into my palms. Who do I choose? My loyalty toward my country? Or my love for Asteria? I am angered the answer isn't more clear. For now, I will need to continue writing to my mother, as much as I hate doing so. Perhaps the bits of information I give her do not need to be explicit in detail, but they need to have some semblance of usefulness for her to allow me more time in Esterpool.

Time. That is truly what I need. In time, I will be better situated to make a decision. For now, I will write, even if it is not truly what I desite to do. I glance at the pieces of parchment on my desk, knowing that this means I will need to start invading Asteria's privacy again and asking more intimate questions. I am sure she would answer to whatever I ask of her, but I feel guilty doing so.

I glance up at the clock in my bedroom, realizing I cannot linger much longer. There are chores to be done, and even if Alba no longer supervises me, she will notice if I am slacking. I will have to return to my letter later, when I have more valuable information to share.

I busy myself throughout the day with the usual chores – sweeping, laundry, dusting, coordinating with the chefs, and so on. When that is not enough to distract me from my thoughts, I seek out Maria so that we can enjoy afternoon tea together.

"Are you sure you have time for tea, Fe?" Maria asks. "I know you're busy with your duties."

"It's been a while since we last spent time together. I'll catch up on anything I missed tomorrow," I respond. Asteria is in another meeting with some royal officials, which seems to be happening more often lately, so I must turn to Maria for company instead.

We find a seat outside between the maid's quarters and the garden to sip on some tea. The weather is warm and pleasant, with the summer months finally beginning to issue in. It makes me long for back home, where the weather is warm year-round and the sun is nearly always shining.

"How are your head maid duties coming along?" Maria asks as she sips on her tea.

"I am getting more used to it," I respond. "Although," I let out a large yawn, "it is much more tiring."