Area Codes // dreamwastaken - Reuploaded

eleven

what the fuck did i just read

'cute in an 1800s small coal mine town where you have to marry someone you're not related to kinda way' how do you come up with that

all girls do

we have to be specific

cute is a very broad term

is he cute like a puppy or like a stringbean skater boy? or is he cute like those quiet funny guys or a shirtless firefighter?

well gee, that terrifies me

i don't know if i want to know how my ex-girlfriends described me

exes plural ???

you mean to tell me that you, bartholomew jenkins, have not only dated a woman before, but have dated more than one ???

yes, yes i have

and where did you get jenkins from

i don't believe it

and jenkins is my russian lit professor

why are you naming me after your russian lit professor

he's a dilf

what more can i say

please say less

and you're also calling me a dilf by extension

by giving us the same name

that's not how it works

yes it is

nuh uh

yuh uh

did you really just say yuh uh instead of uh huh

get out

you always somehow manage to hurt my feelings

it's a gift

took me years to sharpen that skill

you're a gamer, right?

yeah

well my harassment stats go up a point every time i make someone upset

never attempt gamer talk again

you're horrible at it

that physically hurt me to read

does that make me go +1 again ?

very tempted to let my cat scratch out my eyes now

YOU HAVE A CAT ???

yes

her name is patches

i would die for patches

you don't even know what patches looks like

there's only like four different types of cats, i can imagine

as long as she isn't hairless, i love her

what do you have against hairless cats

my grandma had a hairless sphynx cat named ramsey and he hated feet. you couldn't be barefoot in her house unless you wanted him to try to bite your toes off. he ruined the whole breed for me.

kinky

wait no it's a cat

that's like beastiality or something

you really want to check off the last box on the rice purity test, huh

GOD NO

WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT