Area Codes // dreamwastaken - Reuploaded

thirty-three

i never in a million years expected to hit 100k reads when i started this story a month ago. i thought i'd just post a couple chapters until i got bored with the idea and deleted the whole thing entirely. my success with this is just- wow. thank you all so much for sticking by me through my weird update schedules and horrible talking points. i love each and every one of you. mwah.

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a dingo ate our baby

why wasn't i informed that i had given birth

and why is our child dead

a dingo ate it

we're not australian

wait are you in australia

no

but a dingo still ate our baby

can you reach in and pull it back out

like stick my arm down it's throat ? hell no

why not

assert your dominance

against a dingo ???

that dingo is digesting our baby

our own flesh and blood

that baby's long gone

we'll have to try again

have a mourning period first, geez

no need to rush it

we can mourn while we wait nine months for the next one

rip to baby 1 but baby 2 will be built different

how did the dingo even get to our baby in the first place

you know how swiper the fox steals things in dora? it was like that but with a dingo

why didn't you fight it off

i wasn't very fond of baby 1

couldn't bring myself to care

that's a horrible thing to say about your dead child

not a good way to convince me for baby 2

should i remind you that i'm 6'3" ?

would that help persuade you

shut up

i just found out that i've been robbed of my own kid's life

im telling you, we can have a redo

that's not how it works

yes it is

why do you think people had so many kids in the 1700's ? so at least one of them would survive. now we're 0/1 so you need to pop out a couple more to up our success rate.

have you arranged for a funeral ?

i dug a hole in my backyard with a spoon and buried some baby food in it

since we don't have the body and all that

sounds like it was an emotional
ceremony

i wish that i could've been there

you were there in essence

our little angel is watching over us now from the great unknown

did we just call it baby 1

like no name or pronouns or anything

you were heavily drugged during and after the birth, so you were too out of it to really take in anything

and i was so resentful that it almost killed you, that i could barely look at it, much less name it

so it was a hard birth ?

yeah, you should be glad the spawn of satan is dead

but it was our spawn

so which of us is satan

well you're the redhead

well you're the redditor

it seems like we're in a good old fashioned mexican standoff

a stalemate, if you will

i can't believe you called our baby an angel and then immediately contradicted yourself

that should automatically make you
satan

why should we automatically assume they have that title because of their dad

that's very patriarchal of you, honey

i'll make an exception just to get out of being called the devil

well hot diggity dog

don't you dare make a mickey mouse clubhouse reference right now

or ever

why not

i cannot say

just don't do it

that's awfully suspicious of you

but okie dokie artichokie

god you're even starting to sound like a dad

i'm glad middle age is catching up with me at 21

are you balding yet ?

my midlife crisis was actually to get a toupee, so you'll never know

of course i will, i'm your baby mama

and my loving wife, remember?

anyways, the sun is shining on our beautiful mowed lawn, my minivan is sparkling clean, our 401k is racking up dollar signs, and i'm gonna be a dad again. today is a wonderful day.

where's princess stella ???

patches sacrificed her to the dingo too