A North Carolina Autumn

Chapter Sixty-Four

"I said I was sorry for that." Gabe shrugs, his excuse the same as always.

I swipe at the tears falling down my cheeks, frustrated that I can't control my emotions. "You always say sorry. You always promise it won't happen again. But you don't mean it Gabe, you never mean it." I take a breath, summoning all of my strength. "I can't keep doing this. You refuse to change, and I don't deserve that." I get to my feet, willing my legs to stay steady. "Abuse isn't love, Gabe."

As I take a step towards the door, Gabe moves in front of it, blocking my only escape. I lead silently with my dream self, begging her to just go, but no matter how hard I try, I can't take control.

"What the hell Aspen, abuse? I have never abused you." He scoffs, his lips pulling up in a sneer. "All of those little things I've done have been because you deserved them."

His words strike a match inside me, lighting something I'd tried so desperately to rid myself of since ending things with Gabe. Something I'd been so desperate to stop believing. You deserved them.

"Let me show you that I love you." Gabe continues, uncrossing his arms as he takes a step towards me. "You never let me take it further, which is why you don't know if you love me. I can show you that you love me too."

My heels hit the bed as I back up, and I struggle to keep my balance. Gabe's rough hands grab my face, pulling my mouth to his, kissing me hard. I can't kiss him back. He breaks away after a moment, and I wince as I glimpse the sadness and pain in his eyes.

It's not real, I think, wishing it would make a difference. Nothing was real.

"Kiss me back." Gabe pleads, his voice quiet.

"I can't." I reply softly, fear rising at the realization of what happens next.

"Kiss me back, Aspen." Gabe says again, his tone changing from sad to threatening.

As I try to push past him, my eyes on the door, things play out in slow motion. Gabe grabs my wrist and throws me backwards onto the bed, his eyes full of a look that absolutely terrifies me, despite seeing it countless times before.

Fear courses through my veins as he straddles me, holding me down. "Gabe, stop! You're hurting me!" I yell, trying to free myself of his strong grip. His hands stay locked around my wrists, his fingers digging into my skin.

"How do you think I feel?" Venom drips from Gabe's voice as he brings his face only inches from mine. "I won't let you break my heart. You owe me this."

"Stop, please. Don't do this." I sob, tears streaming down my face.

"Shut up. You and I both know you want this." Gabe growls, moving his hand down.

Things in the nightmare begin changing slightly as Gabe pulls at my clothing. His room begins to darken, shadows filling the corners of the room. A dark figure appears in the doorway, his face hidden by shadows. I'm suddenly standing beside the bed, watching as the terrible memory continues to play out in front of me. Even though my point of view has changed, I'm still frozen in fear.

My attention is pulled to the dark figure as he begins moving towards me. Despite his face still being hidden from me, I already know who it is.

As if one Gabe isn't bad enough. I think, glancing briefly back at the bed.

"I told you." Shadow Gabe says, stopping a few feet in front of me.

"Told me what?" I spit, managing to find my voice.

"You wanted it. You wanted me. And apparently," He pauses, finally stepping into the dim light. "You still want me."

"What the hell makes you think that?" I scoff, fighting the urge to avoid his ugly, torn up face.