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oleh Second-breakfast

oleh Second-breakfast

Here are some great replies for scam callers you didn't know you needed!

*Grandpa voice* "Yes, hello, is this starBARK? Then I'd like to order a large pizza." Don't give them the chance to speak

"Oh, you want my number? Okay, it's three...two...one, welcome ladies and gentlemen, we are live on the news, the police is tracking this call as we speak, what do want to tell the audience"

Just straight up scream into the phone

Just ask "and why?" to everything they say

Listen to them and then say, "I'm birthing a child right now"

Uno reverse them. "Thank you for signing up to (weird ass organisation, go crazy). The monthly abo will only 10$ per month."

And if they try to cancel just tell them"the given code is invalid"

Answer in a different language, I like to do it in Russian.

"Mainstream orphanage, you make them, we take them, how may I help you?"

Convince them you're from the Mafia/ FBI/ whatever your heart desires.

"I've finished them, what's next boss?"

"(long lost relative) YOU'RE ALIVE!"

Act like they're your ex and yell at them how terrible they are and Sharon -that snake- is perfect for them anyways, and that they never deserved you.

Put a metal pot over the phone and b e a t the everloving shit out of it with a spoon or something

If they text and ask you for pictures, send them the most unhinged, random photos you can find.

Use them wisely.