once upon a time
she could hold me
she could pat my forehead
she could tell me everything would be alright
once upon a time
she was my source of comfort
my only one
my only one
and now
she hates me
she wants nothing to do with me
she told me so herself
i didn't think i'd ever feel hatred
but i was wrong
and it burns my lungs like the cigarettes i've been smoking
it keeps me up at night like the self-hating thoughts i've been having
and now i wait for you
to say something
anything
to keep me company
with her gone there's only you left
you who don't even want to see me
you who pity me
you who is too nice to cut me off
i know you don't want me
you've made it pretty clear
(you care, just not like that)
(not in the way that i need)
now i'm doubting you too
now i'm hating you
now i'm missing you
late in the night, a plushie as my company
she was my everything
my safe harbor
my precious sweetheart
the only one worth something in this stupid world
now she hates me
she wants nothing to do with me
she'd rather be with anyone else other than me
she thinks i'm nothing
i don't like this
i don't like how much i've regressed
i've been doing so well
and now i'm who i was once
i need to hold you
to be with you
to know you're real
to know you love me
i need you to love me
because you have to love me
because if you don't
then no one does
why don't you want me?
am i that wrong?
that ugly?
that fat?
it's like them all over again
only this time
i know you're a good man
so i know you have a good reason
YOU ARE READING
Within Time's Cracks
PoetryCall it what you will; an intricate story, a mess of emotions, an unsung song. Whatever it is, it's here, like the rest of us, and those that surround us, teetering within Time's cracks, a hairbreadth away from falling over the edge and into the aby...
