Black Holes - The Mors Mortis Trilogy Book 3

Chapter Thirty Eight

Leah didn't speak for a moment and then she moved further into the room, closing the door quietly behind her.

"You don't look fine," she said, and Jared felt a burst of irritation.

She was the one who'd spent the last few weeks barely able to talk, the one who'd turned his whole life upside down and then disappeared on him, leaving him stranded in her world with nothing to hold onto.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He was misdirecting all the anger and hurt. Leah wasn't the one he was furious with right now. At least, she wasn't the main one.

"Just leave it, Leah," he said. "Go back downstairs."

Leah's expression only clouded further though, her feet stubbornly still, and Jared felt a burst of irritation.

"Seriously?" he asked.

When she still didn't move, he scoffed.

"Fine," he snapped. "I'll go."

He glanced at Danny briefly to check he wasn't about to knock something else over and then strode towards the door.

He only made it into the corridor before Leah caught up though. She grabbed his arm, yanking him away from the stairs and into her old bedroom, closing the door behind her and standing guard in front of it.

She crossed her arms over her chest, her gaze hard and immovable, and Jared could tell she truly thought she could keep him in here.

"Get out of my way, Leah," Jared said, his voice low. "Now."

"No," Leah said. "You're angry, and you're hurt, and we both know if you go downstairs right now you're going to yell at someone who doesn't deserve it."

"And you think barricading me in here is going to help?" Jared asked.

He took a step towards her, but she didn't budge, her chin just jutting up slightly, and Jared felt the fury tick a notch higher. The taste of it was wonderfully familiar. He hadn't let himself be angry in so long. But there were words he didn't want to say accompanying it, pressing against his lips instantly, and he knew if he didn't get out here now he'd regret it.

"Move," he growled. "If you don't, I'll do it for you."

"No you won't," Leah said. "You want to yell at someone. We both know it. So yell."

"I'm fine," Jared said through his teeth. "You don't need to—"

She stepped forward and shoved him in the chest. Hard. It caught him off guard, and he shifted back. For a second, he just blinked at her in surprise, unsure what to do.

"What the hell?" he snapped.

"Yell at me, Jared!"

She shoved him again, her eyes were flashing a dangerous, reckless green.

"I know you want to. You have for weeks, but you've been too scared to. So, do it! Tell me how terrible I've been."

"Leah—"

She went to push him again, and Jared's hand snapped out reflexively, catching her wrist. She tried to wrench her arm back, fighting him, and he pulled her forward, reducing the amount of space she had to wriggle around in.

"Stop it," Jared said. "Now."

He could hear the simmering violence in his voice and he thought it'd be enough of a warning, but Leah's free hand came up and shoved his shoulder again, hard enough that the anger exploded.

Before she could blink, he grabbed both her wrists and slammed her back against the wall, his breathing uneven and heavy. Leah grunted, but there was a smile on her face, a manic one that made him want to pull his hair out.

She'd forgotten how much stronger he was than her now, how much more dangerous it was to rile him up like this.

"I know what you're trying to do," he hissed, still painfully aware of everyone else downstairs, of the fact they could probably hear every word. "You think if I stomp around enough in here, I'll calm down, but that's not how it works."

He brought his face closer to hers, the mosaic of green flecks in her eyes coming into high definition.

"There hasn't been a single second of a single day since you died where I haven't been furious, and nothing has made that go away. Whatever this is won't either. So leave it."

She let out a huff and her breath ghosted across his face, and for a second his eyes fluttered down, gaze darting to her lips.

"What will then?" she asked.

Her voice was less taunting than before, all the defensiveness gone, and Jared didn't know what to do. Having her this close, feeling the heat of her body, was making his mind move in a direction it shouldn't, a direction he wasn't even sure she wanted anymore.

So he went to pull away, bitterness roaring through him. He'd need even more time now to calm down now, to feel in control enough to go back downstairs.

But the moment he let go of her wrists, she grabbed his, holding him there.

"Leah," he said through gritted teeth. "Let me go. Seriously. I don't want to do something I'll regret."

Leah's eyes flickered away from his, and she released a deep breath and let his hands drop back to his sides.

"Fine," she said. "Before you go, I want to say something though, and I think you need to hear it."

The words came out fast, running into each other, and for a moment they were both silent. She was staring at his chest, her gaze slightly terrified, but then her eyes flicked back up to his.

"I'm sorry I died," she said, the words softer now, calmer. "I'm sorry I left you when you'd given up so much for me. I'm sorry that by the time you got here, I'd fallen so deep I didn't know how to get back out. I don't want you to think it was because I stopped caring about you."

Jared felt the anger within him wither.

"Leah—"

"I'm sorry that your father never gave you the respect or love you deserve. I know you're going to say it doesn't matter, that you already knew Brenton wasn't a good person, but that doesn't always make it hurt less. You spent so much of your life trying to make him happy. You're allowed to be angry about that. And hurt. You're allowed to be angry with me too. You don't have to keep pretending."

Jared let out a shaky breath, his eyes shuttering closed, and for the first time in weeks, he felt that ball of tension in his chest ease.

"I'm not angry with you," he said quietly.

He didn't see her smile, but he sensed it, and when he opened his eyes it was there.

"You were, though," she said.

He shook his head and when her smile only grew, he put her hands on his shoulders and pushed her back, gently this time, pining her against to the wall and bringing his body flush with hers.

Leah let out a small breath, her pupils dilating, and Jared was suddenly furious there were so many other people in this house for an entirely different reason than before.

"I wasn't angry," he said. "I was frustrated though, and scared, and I didn't know if you..."

He trailed off, suddenly unsure whether to say it, and she brought her hands up to his face.

"If I still wanted you?" she asked.

Jared swallowed, and he just stared at her, waiting for her to say something else, and she smiled.

"Well, I think we've resolved that now."

Jared felt a ball of warmth burst in his chest, an almost painful happiness, and when he lent down to kiss her, she'd already tilted her head up to meet him half way.

...

Next chapter out in two weeks :)

- Skylar xx