Missing Pieces

9

I drifted in and out of focus as I listened to Soren and Jude's lighthearted conversation. My attention switched between our table and the rest of the people scattered around us. I caught bits of other conversations, none of them interesting enough to keep me from getting lost in my own head.

I jumped at the sound of someone's knee hitting the table, the abrupt noise causing me to snap back to reality. I looked back at my brothers only to find none of them paying any attention to me as they spoke to one another. Or at least, as Jude and Soren did.

Ezra had been mostly silent—just like me.

Over the past few days, I'd learned that he was a pretty quiet person. It seemed like he liked to observe more than talk, and it made me realize that it was a part of the reason why I felt a little uncomfortable around him.

Aside from the things other people had told me, he was a mystery to me. Hence why he felt like a stranger.

Ezra's dark amber gaze shifted until it met mine, and I looked away so he wouldn't catch me staring at him.

"All done?" Soren asked, gesturing to me almost empty plate.

I nodded and pushed it away. "Yeah, I'm full."

Even though I hadn't meant it to, my voice must've sounded sad because he sighed. "We're sorry about your plans," Soren murmured as he reached out to brush his thumb across my knuckles. "Next weekend you can do whatever you'd like."

I smiled tightly, but didn't reply. He stared at me for another moment, and he must've seen that I wasn't going to offer a verbal answer because he gave up. The attention shifted back to Jude as they started talking about the next few games, and his practice schedule.

Thankfully, the rest of the dinner passed quickly, so it wasn't long before we got to leave. I had to use the restroom, so Jude stayed outside to wait for me. Meanwhile, Ezra and Soren left to go get the car after letting us know they'd meet us out front.

Jude looked up from his phone when I exited the bathroom. Silently, we both began to head outside.

"Are you happy they came today?" I asked as I fell into step beside him.

He hesitated a few moments before he answered. "I don't know," he said quietly. "I think I would've been happier if I didn't feel like they only came to watch over you."

My footsteps slowed. "I knew it," I mumbled, exhaling. Jude glanced over. "I had a feeling it was that. Especially after what I texted— " I swallowed past my anger. "Why? Why do they feel the need to do that?"

Jude held the door open for me, allowing me to step out before him. "I think they're just afraid," he murmured. "They have a shitty way of showing it, and it ends up being more controlling than caring, but that's probably it. They did the same with me for years. Always hovered over everything I did until I finally made them stop. At least, for the most part."

"Afraid of what?" I asked as we made it outside to the sidewalk in front of the restaurant.

Jude took a deep breath and faced me, a somber look in his brown gaze. "Something happening to you, I guess," he said. "Aspen, that accident—it scared the fuck out of all of us. I know that maybe we haven't done the best at showing that—showing that we care, but it's true. I remember when Ezra got the phone call that you were in the hospital..." he trailed off, his gaze haunted. "We had no idea what we were going to find when we came to you."

I contemplated his words, looking down. "I feel like..." I kicked at some rocks with my shoe. "Things are cold at home. Like...our house in general but also between all of us. There's no..."