If I Take That Chance

He doesn't Love Me

His idea of giving me this life performance of the most beautiful song on my most important day moved my heart. I shifted my eyes to him who waited in front of the altar together with his best man Adam. I couldn't see his face properly, my veil covered my face and the aisle of this cathedral was long and my walk was slow.

When I got closer I was surprised by his glassy eyes, he looked like he almost cried, but his lips smiled at me, his cheeks blushed a little. He was in his Brioni suit, looking dazzling as usual. His wavy black hair was swept up and to the back, giving him clean look of his face and made his brown eyes shone brighter at me.

Both of his hands were clasped together showing the sign of nervousness. He shook my father's hand then gave my mother a kiss on her cheek before taking my hand and guided me to come closer to the priest. His warm hand wrapped mine and he squished gently to give me a reassurance that everything would be just fine. I looked at him behind my veil to thank him with my smile.

The priest went ahead with the ceremony and when the time to say our vows he turned his body to face me fully and started to talk. I was quite shock when I found out that he didn't use the one that our priest had it ready. He wrote his own vow, so beautiful that made few tears run down my cheeks.

How could he write such a vow while he didn't even love me? Did he pick it up from the internet? I wondered.

Luckily I was ready myself. Being in love with him for so long made my words flew easy and I felt his hands held me tighter and tighter over every word I said. He hadn't stop looking at me with his smitten face and I couldn't help but grinning at him. He wanted to play serious in this pretence game? I gave him serious!

After we exchanged the rings the priest told him to kiss me and at that moment I suddenly wanted to bolt off the door and run away from him. I was so scared, how would I react when he kissed me? I didn't know whether I should kiss him back or stayed still? Where should I placed my hands, around his neck or keep them on my sides? I haven't been married before. And he was my first love, I didn't know how to behave around him anymore, he would be my husband. No longer just a friend, no longer just a best friend and I felt lost all of sudden. I used to discuss the most private matter of my life with him and now I couldn't. I couldn't discuss him with him, that would be silly!

He let go of my hands and lifted my veil slowly, his eyes gazed tenderly at me. His right hand took my jaw and he lowered his face. I thought I would faint when our lips met if it wasn't for his left hand that pulled me closer to him.

All my nervousness was gone into the thin air as soon as his soft warm lips pressed against mine. All my questions were answered at that moment when our lips locked. My body reacted to him, it knew what to do without me having to order my hands to circle his neck or moved my lips synchronically with his.

He took his time kissing me and the cheer from our guests disappeared when I closed my eyes and surrender to him. His thumb rubbed my cheek and his fingers curled on the side of my neck. He sure kissed me thoroughly and when he pulled out I grunted in protest. He raised his eyebrows at my noise that came out involuntarily from my throat and I blushed.

"Are you allright?" he asked, his left hand still resting on my waist.

"Yeah." I replied shortly, still unsure how to talk to him. He was my husband now!

Guests congratulated us and we took some photos before the wedding planner literally pushed us into our vehicle so that we could go to our reception. He helped me climbed into the Limo then tucked my dress carefully so he wouldn't sit on it. He smiled when he took my hand, a shy smile that I'd never encountered before.