Chapter 33: Parenting

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Mood for chapter: get it together- India Arie
Coco pov
It's been a month since I left the hospital and I'm exhausted. Lau stayed as long as he could but had work and had to go back to France. Dre and Tyler have been a big help but they are kind of far. Ryan spent the first week in half with me before heading back to Berkely. The girls and Asia have been FaceTiming me obsessed watching Alex sleep. He is a needy baby and he loves food. He's breastfeed for the most part so pumping milk it taking all my energy. I haven't heard from blaze since he left the hospital I'm not surprised but I am disappointed. I understand this is more then a month processing thing but I need help. Plus I want Alex to know his dad scent, his voice, and presence. His little features are starting to form a little
*knock on door*
Coco kisses Alex cheek and lays him in the mobile bassinet Ryan bought her as a gift. She gets off the couch walking to the front door opening to be met with .....
Coco: hey blaze
Blaze: hey
He walked in and shut the door locking it. He has a duffel bag in his hand and drops it by the door. She's curious on what's in it and what's it for. He slowly walks over the couch and stares at Alex.
Coco: you want to hold him he's calm now he just ate and I burped him he's probably sleepy
Blaze: ok
Coco: wash your hands first and take off your shirt for skin to skin they say it's important so he can get your scent
Blaze takes off his shirt throwing it on the chair and walks into the kitchen washing his hands. He comes back and sits on the couch. She gently picks up Alex and tells blaze to lay back. He does as she lays Alex across his chest. She sits next to blaze watching him as Alex makes cooing sounds.
Blaze: I sorry for going MIA it a lot to process
Coco: I understand blaze but I hope that's the end of your absence
Blaze: yea it is I brought bag over I was gonna stay a week to help I can stay longer if you need
Coco: that would be a big help I don't wanna keep bothering Dre he has his own baby to tend to
Blaze: how is she
Coco: a beautiful mix of Keisha and Dre
Blaze: that's nice
Coco: yep Alex got himself a best friend/ cousin
Blaze: where's my brother
Coco: he had to go back home he stayed as long as he could the next time he said going  to paint the mural in Alex room
Blaze: I wanted to talk about you living arrangement
Coco: I guess you have the magic touch
Blaze: what
Coco: he's knocked out your heart beat and voice must be calming for him
Blaze looks at Alex as his little body rises up and down and he finds himself getting teary eyed. A single tear falls as he wipes it. Shocking coco she's never seen him hurt let alone emotional.
Coco: I can't believe we did that
Blaze: me either
Coco: you still wanna kill me
Blaze looks at coco and gestures her to grab Alex and she does laying him gently in the bassinet and moving him to the side of the couch away from the conversation and walkway.
Blaze: *sighs* no I'm gonna be there for my son
Coco: can I ask you something
Blaze: yea
Coco: * teary eyed* why do you hate me
Blaze: *sighs* I no hate you
Coco: you said and done some very hurtful things
Blaze: I know
Coco: what were you going through to make you act like that. What happen that night when you were covered in blood
Blaze sighs and looks at coco and puts his head down and begins to speak
Blaze: that night I rush to get out because I was doing the last drop ever and I wanted Tony to go with me because I was showing him the ropes to take over. The drop was going fine until a small disagreement started and I *hesitates* I tried to diffuse so I could get home I was aggravated and wanted to get back to you long story short a nigga pulled *shaky breath* a gun and he shot tony . I pull out gun shooting back as they drive off. I try to save him I hold his body he look at me scared begging me to not let him die. He die in my arms. I was gonna be done he was gonna take over I was gonna move on with my life. Blazes sighs and put his head in his hands when coco wraps her arms around him kisses his temple and rubbing his neck.
Coco: it's ok papa
Blaze sighs and slowly pulls away
Blaze: Tony die that night and his blood was on my clothes. I know I heartless for most part but he was my closest relationship besides Lau and I feel guilty about his death. I should've just did the drop and left him home trusting he knew what to do he's watched me a million times. I no trust he knew so I step in.
Coco: His death ain't your fault you didn't pull the trigger papa
Blaze: that why I act like that and you leaving made me snap and it was easier to channel my anger at you
Coco: I wish you would've told me this and it could've been all avoided
Blaze: that's why I was gonna tell you when you came home
Coco: threatening me wasn't the way to go
Blaze: I agree and I'm sorry
Coco reaches over and kisses blaze passionately. He sighs and kisses her back turning around
Coco: I missed you papa and I know we gone through hell but I think Alex would benefit from a two parent household
Blaze: we try but we can't stay together if not healthy that hurt Alex
Coco: okay
Blaze: I have a house
Coco: since when
Blaze: forever I just never live in it. It was house for when I retire and it time
Coco: who's gonna take over
Blaze: It's irrelevant
Coco: I'm glad to hear that and yea we will move in with you
Blaze: it settled then
Coco: wanna take a nap while he sleep
Blaze: sure
Blaze lays down on the couch as coco climbs on top of him snuggling in his neck as she drifts off to sleep he looks at Alex one more time and coco and sighs and drifts off to sleep
Blaze pov
I hear Alex whining and I realize fits been 4 hours he probably hungry. I don't wanna wake Courtney but I no know what I'm doing
Blaze: Courtney
Coco: *sleepy* yea
Blaze: I think he hungry how I do bottle you stay sleep
Coco: he has a bottle in the refrigerator use the bottle warmer and pour some on your hand to make sure not to hot *yawns*
Blaze gets follows coco directions as she goes right back to sleep. Alex has started to get antsy and blaze picks him up siting in the chair giving the bottle as he gets quiet. Blaze watch's as Alex's eats and pecks his forehead
Blaze: *whispers* you perfect
Alex slowly opens his eyes looking up at blaze. Blaze smiles
Blaze: hey man
Alex coos
Blaze: I you papa
Coco rises from the couch
Coco: your his daddy your my papa
Blaze: you mama jealous
Blaze lays Alex on his chest patting his back. Alex Burps causing a chuckle from blaze and coco. She decides to FaceTime Lau and show him this moment
Coco: lau
Lau: yes
Coco: look
She flips the camera and shows blaze burping Alex.
Lau: *straight tone* that nice
Coco: hey Larry I'll be back
Coco walks to the other room confused on his changed demeanor.
Coco: what happened between you two
Lau: he threaten to kill me when he found I brought you to France
Coco: what
Lau: yea and he I act like his enemy and I betray him by choosing you
Coco: he can't mean that
Lau: maybe so but word still hurt and he act like I do him wrong
Coco: want to talk to him
Just as Lau is about to respond blaze walks in the room
Blaze: he sleep
Coco: hey talk to Lau while I use the bathroom
Coco walks out the room heading to the bathroom
Blaze: hey Lau
Lau:yes
Blaze: thanks for looking out for Courtney and Alex
Lau: no problem tell Courtney I call later
Blaze: you mad at me or something
Lau: *scoffs and shakes head* goodbye Larry
Blaze: no run be honest
Lau: I fucking hate you
Blaze: Lau
Lau: No you threaten to kill me your own brother your twin. You act like I do you so wrong you abandon me motherfucker and I always show up for you when I know you would never do same for me because I love you unconditionally. No matter how much you push away or hurt me. * crying* why I am not good enough for you to no leave why you no want me Larry huh ?
Coco walks in and hears what Lau just said and hears his cries and it breaks her heart.
Blaze: Lau your my twin I want you
Lau: bullshit that not how you act
Blaze: Lau listen to me carefully I love you more than anybody in this world you have been number one in my life. The hardest I do is leave you. You know how hard that was and I know it hurt you really bad. I knew I was not the man you need or be influence by so I leave to give you chance at good clean life. Which you have and I don't regret that because I no good for you. I do regret the harsh words and insults and making you feel like you no wanted. I always want you
Lau: all I wanted was you Larry I know better then to sell drugs art is my calling I've known that since a baby nothing was gonna stop that
Blaze:I'm sorry lau
Lau: bye Larry
Blaze: bye
Laurent ends call
Blaze looks up at coco with tears in his eyes as coco hugs him as he collapses in her arms sobbing.
2 hours later
Coco takes a picture of Alex sleeping and posts it on her instagram

Coco: I should do homework while I can Coco opens her laptop and begins doing her homework while blaze and Alex are sleep

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Coco: I should do homework while I can
Coco opens her laptop and begins doing her homework while blaze and Alex are sleep. She finishes her homework and changes Alex diaper as they call it a night and take Alex in the bedroom.

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