Chapter 27

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The howl that Ieyasu released was on par with the worst sound she had ever heard. She had made that sound, but it was worse, to hear it coming from his lips. To make it come from him. She felt like she'd been kicked in the stomach. His eyes were wild and unfocused. Mitsuhide had warned her to be prepared but when it happened...

「Hurry, mouse!」

Just breathe, Ness. Ness bowed over Ieyasu, cradling his face in her hands with the gentlest touch of her fingers, and tried to meet his eyes. There was no recognition there.

「Ieyasu, can you hear me?」

He gave no indication that he could. His breaths came in shallow gasps. He let out a long groan as his body twisted. Ness leaned closer and pressed her cheek against his. She took a deep breath next to his ear. Inhale. Hold. Exhale.

「Just breathe, Ieyasu.」

She repeated his own words back to him in the hopes of... something. Recognition. He made another agonized groan, this time next to her ear, and it was too much. Her heart felt like it was being crushed. She opened her mouth to tell Mitsuhide to stop.

「G-g-g... Agh... Ne...」

「Ieyasu!」

Mitsuhide had prepared her for this too. There was no time for discussions. For niceties. For emotions. No time for anything but the goal. She had no idea how long Ieyasu would stay conscious. Ieyasu moaned, his body stiffening with pain, his breath ragged.

「N-ne... ss...」

「Tell me everything you know about the poison.」

Ieyasu's voice was a whisper in her ear, shivering with pain. His cheek was cold against hers, his jaw tense as he made himself speak through what seemed like force of will alone, a gasp between each word.

「O-o-orange... like... ng... rust. P... powder. Smells like... ja-ja... ng... ah!」

「Breathe, Ieyasu. What did it smell like?」

「J-j-jas... mine... C-copper... It... b-burns. It... burns... Ness... ah... ah... nggghgh!」

Ieyasu's back arched off the futon and he let out another howl, this one more strained. She raised her head, still cradling his face. Ieyasu. I'm so sorry. His emerald eyes met hers and what she saw there, through the blur of her tears, was suffering. Then his eyes rolled back in his head, and he collapsed back onto the futon without another word.

Ieyasu. She drew her hands away from his cheeks and he moaned hoarsely, twisting, before settling again. She sat up onto her heels, hung her head in her hands, and took a breath. Her eyes felt hot with anger and shame. His face... he's in... so much pain already and then we... we did that to him.

"Ness..."

Mitsuhide's cool fingers, endlessly comforting, reached for her... and she flinched. In that moment, it was impossible not to picture the kitsune's thumb pressed into Ieyasu's wound. Rattled by that, she stood up. You can't be mad at him for doing what you both agreed. It's not him you're really mad at. Still, she couldn't shake it, and the understanding look in his eyes made it worse. She turned on her heel and went back to the workbench.

"I... please monitor Ieyasu. I need... quiet."

"You need rest."

"No. What I need is... for those not to be the last words he ever says to me."

She heard her voice cracking. She took a deep gulp of air. The sound of Ieyasu's howls of agony would not leave her. It was yet more nightmare fuel added to a stash that was already far too big. Inhale. Hold. Exhale. She pulled a sheet of paper across the bench and began to write, pushing aside everything but the clues that Ieyasu had provided. She murmured out loud, talking to herself, as she did so.

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