Bit Into Your Love {SAPPHIC}

🩸Antidepressants (pt.26)🩸

"Your wrists."

My breath hitched, "I know. I-I know what you're going to say,"

"I don't think you do,"

I tried to even out my breathing as she wrapped her arms around me.

"When did you start?"

Tears caught in my eyes, "O-one of the first times you left...when you went after Gwenevieve,"

I couldn't stop them from erupting out any longer.

"Shh, it's okay, babydoll,"

"A-are you mad?"

"Of course not," she held me tighter and tilted my chin up to wipe my tears. Her voice was toned with such sympathy that it made me cry even more.

"I'm just...worried about you, I don't want you to ever get to that level of desperation ever again."

"The second time was after our fight, I just missed you really bad."
Cleo kissed my lips. "Oh, my love. I can get you to help, okay?"

"Like?..."
"I can get you into counseling. You shouldn't be this...obsessed with me. It isn't healthy for either of us."

"I'm sorry."
"This isn't your fault," she said gently, "you have nothing to be sorry about."

"Okay," I answered quietly. "I can go..."
"Good, I want you to get better."

I sniffled and nuzzled her deeper. "Wh-when did you notice?"

"Last night, actually. I just didn't want to say anything then."

"Mhm..." I nodded, "Thank you, Cleo."

"Don't thank me. Me showing you basic kindness is nothing for you to thank me for, babydoll."

"I didn't think I was ever lovable." The tears came again.

"It's not you, it's other imbeciles. You're everything I've ever dreamed of, Marine." She wiped my eyes for me.

"I'm sure we'll get the house, and we'll get to see it soon, okay? Just rest now."

"I love you." I whispered.

"Mm...I love you most."

~~~

Cleo got me into my first therapy session in no time. It was safe to say I was intimidated, even though my therapist was nothing but sweet.

The first sessions were hard, I wanted to get up and run after Cleo as soon as she would leave the room. It didn't matter if I knew she was waiting for me outside, I wanted to hold her.

My therapist's name was Samantha, she was nice, her appearance was too. Her skin was a warm, dark taupe, her sunny brown curls bounced every time she'd nod to me in reassurance.

Although there was nothing particularly special about her, she made the space feel safe. Her aura was comforting.

She'd ask me simple questions in the beginning, my favorite animal, like I was a little kid. I had no complaints.

The room was a pale brown color, dark shelves hung above where she sat on the leather couch. On the table in front of me, there was a wooden tray with a small jar of fake lilacs.

By the third session, I had already started to come up with things to avoid her eye contact. I'd sit and stare at the lilacs.

"This is your first time, right?"
"What?"
"Coming to therapy," she explained gently.

I nodded, looking at the lilacs again.

"What interests you about those flowers?"

Clearly, she'd noticed.