Our fallen souls [EN] (High Enough) : VOLUME 1

13 - Blake

He smiles at me. "I wasn't going to take it from you, you prick. It was fun watching you get all worked up."

"Fuck you, Shawn."

The principal storms out of the office, and as soon as my eyes land on Joséphine, I can read the utter distress on her face. She looks completely devastated. With a nod, the principal tells me to follow him. I glance at Shawn, give him a quick wink, then rush into the office. My eyes dart around, as if I were a kid in a wonder store. There's an incredible mess: picture frames hanging on the walls, piles of books threatening to collapse, and even a few weird statues that captivate me. The principal sits behind his desk, staring at me as if I were a laboratory specimen. He starts to say something, but my mind wanders off. I'm much more interested in his bloody tie and the shitty statues behind him. I wonder what's behind all this.

"Some chores with Miss Evans to teach you manners will be more than enough," I finally hear, bringing me back to reality.

"What?" I suddenly blurt out at the words.

Seriously, what kind of joke is this? Am I going to have to put up with this?

I let out an annoyed sigh, but I know there's no point in protesting. He won't change his mind anyway. I barely mumble a "great" in a low voice.

Finally, after ten minutes, he lets me go and orders me not to do it again, on pain of expulsion.

Frankly, should I give a damn about being excluded from this shitty place?

I've got much more important things to deal with. I've got to deal with this thing with my father. It won't be long before he shows up at my house or here on campus. And damn it, I know he's more than capable. Sometimes I wonder how my mom ever fell for an old bastard like him. But hey, love has its reasons that reason ignores, they say.

Besides, what do I know? I've never set foot in this love bullshit, I don't even know what it's like or how you know.

I head home, but the walk back to my apartment makes my heart race. The truth is, I'm afraid to find my father there. He's traumatized me. I have this feeling that he'll show up at any moment. It could happen in a few days, or even a few weeks if I'm lucky. I absolutely must find somewhere to hide. The hideout I've found is a good idea, but there's still no water. I don't want to die up there without being able to wash even a little.

*

My heart calms when I enter my house and there's no one waiting for me. I throw my sneakers across the apartment and lie down on the sofa. I rub my eyes and prepare to lose myself in thought when a knock at the door startles me.

I slowly open the door and find myself face to face with Clyde. My heart misses a beat, because for a second, I thought it was my fucking father.

"What's the matter with you? You're shaking and sweating like a pig," Clyde remarks.

Fuck, shit. "N... nothing..."

Damn it, pull yourself together, Blake.

"Did your little talk with the principal traumatize you like this?"

"How did you know about that?"

"Joséphine talks to Cassie a lot."

I forgot about that.

My brother is on my ass as I head for the kitchen. He closes the door behind him and slumps down on the couch. "What the hell are you doing? Go home," I order him as I open my fridge.

I grab a beer, open it and drink it almost in one gulp. Clyde doesn't move but watches me curiously. "Wow, that's not good. What's the matter?"

I finish my beer and throw the can in the garbage can. "Dad's going to get me stoned," I admit without thinking.

Obviously, I can't keep my mouth shut, either.

I grip the edge of the counter so tightly that my knuckles turn white. "What's the matter? Why?" he asks as he stands up.

"I used to work for him, and I left about a week ago. He can't stand it," I say through clenched teeth.

At this point, I might as well spill the beans.

"What do you mean, work?"

"Please don't ask any more questions. He's just going to come and beat the shit out of me, like he used to. He's been itching to do that for a while, I think."

Clyde sighs and looks worried. I sit down next to him with a bottle I've picked up along the way.

I've got to forget it.

"Yeah, you said it. But don't worry, I'll get out of here as soon as I figure it out."

"Come to my place!"

I roll my eyes and look at him. "Are you stupid or what? It's the first place he'll look."

"Yeah, right," he sighs, lowering his eyes.

I pull a bag of weed and a fag from my pocket. Clyde watches me roll my joint in disgust. "That's not going to solve the problem."

I ignore him and put the butt of the joint between my lips. I grab the lighter from my pocket and light it. Clyde sighs again and looks away. After a few drags and a deathly silence, I finally break the silence.

"What the fuck is wrong with me? Our bloody father, Peter, Joséphine..."

If I go on like this, I'll be here all night. I don't know why I said Joséphine's name, if she doesn't like me, it's because of me. However, it's not that name that catches her attention.

"Peter?!" His eyes are wide open.

"Well, yeah."

"Why him?"

Didn't he know? I'm surprised.

"Well, he went to tell Joséphine that she shouldn't trust me because I wasn't right for her, apparently."

My brother jumps to his feet. "How did you know?"

"Joséphine says a lot of things to Cassie," I say, taking back his words.

"Fucking bastard. He'll do anything to get Jo into fucking bed," he says.

I nod silently.

"Don't worry, I went to see Jo and told her you were a nice guy."

I widen my eyes.

He can't be serious. "You did what?!"

The face he's putting on is one I know too well. He'd said too much.

"Mind your own fucking business, Clyde."

"I'm sorry, man."

I couldn't even blame him. What's done is done. I had other things to think about.

"You also told her I'd been through some stuff," I finally say. "It's none of her business, Clyde."

"Blake, I know you like her."

"No matter what, she'd never be interested in a guy like me. That tidy girl..." I press my lips together as I realize what I've just said. For the first time, I feel embarrassed. I never let anything show, and now I'm spilling the beans. Images of Joséphine come back to haunt my fucking thoughts. Having to clean a fucking classroom with her is going to be hell. I can already imagine the deathly silence between us.

How could it be any other way?

"Is it the thought of everyone hating you that gives you a boner, or the fact that we're talking about Joséphine?" snaps Clyde.

I look down and stare at my lower stomach, disturbed by his words.

"Gotcha, sucker," he laughs.

With a sudden gesture, I throw a pillow at his face.

Damn, I almost believed his bullshit.

"My big brother fantasizes about the new girl, it's so cute," he laughs.

"Shut the fuck up and get the fuck out of my house."

He flashes me a smug grin and taunts me before slamming the door on his way out. Once alone, I sigh, plagued by a multitude of thoughts that torment me.