Oxytocin

Six

Diahna was confused. This was nearly the third time that week she had 'accidentally' run into him, and each time, his reaction was different.

The first time she passed his working lab, he put up a visible effort to ignore her. The second time, she found him trying to not look at her whilst she found him bluntly staring at her the third time. And as for at present, he had come and sat on the table directly opposite to hers in the cafeteria, there were plenty of others which were free.

What was he trying to do? "Maybe..." started her brain, but she immediately shut that thought process off. She was not to go down that rabbit hole. That was what she had decided. She wouldn't hurt herself like last time, when she had given into what she truly felt, only to be hurt. It was hard, for Diahna was a person who was not just expressive of her thoughts but also of her emotions. She wasn't scared to embrace any emotions or feelings. She wasn't scared to confront or confess, but when it came to him, she was at times the opposite. She knew she couldn't blame the guy alone, for she hadn't technically confessed her true feelings to him. But just as she was trying to build up the courage to do so, he had turned all cold and sullen with her. That broke her confidence.

Not to mention her overthinking wasn't helpful at all. It went down a negative spiral. Yet, somewhere deep, she felt it would work out. What made her think so? She never knew. Why did she hold that hope? It was still a mystery. But she held it deep. Not many knew that, though all the signs, in reality, presented the possibility to be impossible, she had still held on to the hope it may actually work out.

"Don't dwell too much on it, dear. Sometimes, it's better to leave things to their flow, but then, at times, it's not wrong to take your fate into your hands. Best option. I would recommend listening to your gut and following it. If you want to confront that guy and confess, go for it. If you feel like you need to let it be for the time being? Let it be." Said Shanvi, on the day she had told Sienna and her about this feeble hope she had felt within her heart.

She remembered how those two were the ones who weirdly supported her and asked her not to lose hope despite there being almost zero possibility of it occurring. They were the ones to encourage her to even apply to this university. She had almost not applied, despite it being one of her dream universities, just due to the sheer knowledge that he was studying here.

"If you guys are meant to be together, you will get selected to this university, or else you simply will get into another one. This was one of your dream universities. So please do apply and let fate do its play." Sienna had told her while Shanvi had made sure she applied.

"If you guys are meant for each other, you will get this university, but I want you applying to this not only for that reason alone but also for the fact you actually like the course," Shanvi told.

"I do like the course, the research topics, all of these are like my favorites, but I am scared of facing him again. What if..."

"You are not thinking of the what ifs now. Let's just apply. If you get into it, let's follow up later on. And you, my darling, forgot how good I am at stalking."

"You do know he isn't the most social media person at all, right?"

"Yeah, yeah. But that doesn't mean that his friends aren't." Shanvi replied.

"Let's not think till that for now. Let's just let her apply, and then let's see what happens." Sienna told.

"Why don't you guys apply too? I mean Shanz, there is a neuroscience course there, and Sienna, there is a good microbiology course there. Come on, we can all be there together."

"Well... I don't mind technically." Sienna told

"Actually, I was going to apply close by, but I guess it won't hurt to apply to this one too," Shanvi told.

"Yay. If we do get selected to the same one, imagine the ruckus we can cause." Diahna said, and with that, all the melancholy thoughts just dissipated, and their usual craziness set back in.

She smiled as she looked down at her food. They had all got selected as they planned, yet their timetables hadn't been synced much, not to mention they were just settling into the new vibe. Thus, there she was all alone.

"Do you mind if I take this seat? You know, if it isn't being held for someone." She heard a familiar male voice.

Looking up, she was shocked. Well, it would be an understatement to even say so. After continuing to stare stupidly for a few seconds, Diahna finally managed to nod her head. Declan took a seat in front of her and stared at his friend, who was apparently lost in his phone. He then turned towards Diahna and took a long look at her. The girl still wasn't out of her shock and was gaping at him.

"Now I understand why the workaholic human came back looking as if he saw a ghost on the first day of classes," he said.

Startled at hearing him speak, Dia asked, "What?"

"Well, my wonderful best friend, the one who usually stays up in his lab all night, most of the days, came back home on the very first day of the semester. It was a shocker, really, considering how much he likes his work and field of study. But now it makes sense," said Declan nonchalantly, as he took a mouthful of food.

"What do you ever mean by that?"

"Gods, is it me, or have you gotten dumb since the last time I saw you?" asked Declan, only to receive a blank stare back from Diahna, "Well you know how Suyansh tends to be a workaholic, right?"

"Yeah."

"And if I am not mistaken, you guys met each other on the first day of the sem?"

"Yes."

"Well, that was why he had come back home early that day instead of staying cooped up in the lab like he usually does."

"Wait. Wait. You are saying Suyansh came back early just cause he saw me?" asked Dia in a shocked tone.

"Hmm. Technically, yes." He told in a matter-of-fact tone.

"The States and your Ph.D. has finally caused you to lose your sanity." She replied.

"Well, I never had any to begin with, but trust me when I say that I know Suyansh well."

"As if he would ever think of leaving his research work behind, just cause he met me," she replied and looked back down on her food. Part of her wanted to believe what Declan had just told, believe that she still was able to affect him the very way he affected her.

"Trust me, Dia, I know my best friend. I know how much of an overthinking idiot he can be and how he can make the dumbest of decisions at times. I just hope you don't end up feeling bad for yourself cause of him."

"I know he is scared of emotions most of the time, but still, that does not give him the right to treat me the way he did back then," she said.

"I know, but hey, what do you expect? The guy panics like a deer in front of headlights when he feels even the slightest bit of emotions," said Declan.

He then turned to look at the place where Suyansh was seated, only to find him staring at them with an undecipherable expression. He waved his hand over, but he just shook his head and got up, walking past them to the exit. Declan just nodded and turned back to face Dia to find her still looking at her food as if it was the most interesting this in the entire world.

"Anyways, I hope the States has been treating you well," he said in a feeble attempt to take her mind off her brooding, as he felt bad for making her all broody.

Dia, who was totally caught up in the last words Declan had spoken about how afraid he was to feel and hadn't noticed that particular interaction between Declan and Suyansh, or the change in the topic, or the fact that Suyansh was just walking past them, in a somewhat audible voice muttered, "He can feel all he wants, I am done with him."