Rants and Random Thoughts

Pimples

Eyyo it's yo girl back again, the amazing and kawaii Bananachan.

I want to talk about something we all hate, whether or not we've experienced it.

So right now I have the disgusting tiny little hills of hell on my face called pimples. I'm trying to look on the bright side. At least I got them during the summer and not during school, where everyone I know would see me like this. Hopefully it goes away before school starts.

I hate pimples.

First things first:

I'm a realist.

Kay.

1. Embarrassing.

It's practically shouting out to the world, "Hey! I'm a teen going through awkward changes! Stare at me! Why not? You know you want to! Make fun of me too while you're at it!" Sigh.

2. It's ugly.

It might as well also shout, "Hello world it's Ugly Betty! Aka that phantom of the opera! Aka Elmo! I'm ugly and I'm proud! I'M UGLY AND I'M PROUD! SOMEONE BE MY FRIEND. PLEASE."

3. Un-curable

Do you know what it takes to get rid of pimples? Take that gallon of Proactive you bought for only $19.95 and pour it down your pants. Bring it to the second star to the right using the rocketship you built in ninth grade. Find a volcano there that's exactly 500,000,069 feet high and sacrifice your first-born son while reciting Wiccan chantings used during the Salem witch trials. Your voodoo magic will cause you to completely evaporate into dense, dark matter. BAM! YOUR PIMPLES ARE GONE. (...along with the rest of you...)

Btw my mom always says that the only way to get rid of pimples are to wash your face every day. But I do! I take showers every day! Now that I do sailing camp my face gets drenched with water pretty much every day anyway! (Yeah, I tip over the boat a lot. Don't judge me. Capsizing is actually fun.) So I'm screwed. Hopefully they go away over time. And if your reading this and you also have a bad case of the pimples, please please please don't use home-made remedies. That won't work at all. Cmon. Don't be so dumb. Rubbing food in your face doesn't amount to anything.