I spend the rest of the day on pins and needles. Alexander's answer to my request to talk was not long in coming. He immediately replied that he would visit me this evening.
Christine leaves in the afternoon, wearing my T-shirt and shorts, with the promise that she will return them to me spotless and clean. Throughout our friendship, I have lost several items of clothing to her, so I mentally say goodbye to anything I lend her.
To fill the time, I clean my small apartment from floor to ceiling until it shines. And in horror I find myself sweaty, bent over a toilet with a brush when a message comes through the phone.
Alexander will be downstairs in thirty minutes.
I hurriedly put the cleaning supplies back under the sink, which continue to fall out one after another and do not allow me to close the cabinet doors. Finally, having dealt with the plastic bottles, I hurriedly take a shower using the most delicious-smelling gel.
An incoming call to my brand-new phone rings as I nervously rub my damp hair between the two ends of the towel.
"I'm downstairs," Alexander's voice comes from the speaker, and I silently nod, forgetting that he cannot see me. But I do not have time to voice my action in words, because Alexander has already disconnected the call.
With trembling hands, I pull on a sweatshirt and jeans, and frantically look around. For some reason, I take a bottle of perfume and do a couple of puffs in the direction of my neck and chest, which quickly rises from frequent breaths.
Coming out of the entrance, I look around the yard filled with cars parked way to close to each other, and some even blocking the sidewalk. This always happens because the building does not have organized parking, and there are a lot of residents.
Among all the beat-up cars, it is not difficult for me to find the dark blue Bentley polished to a shine that is under an overgrown apple tree next to the playground.
I take a deep breath and head towards him, feeling the cool August breeze chill the damp hair on top of my head.
"Hi," Alexander says as I slide into the passenger seat and close the door, but not all the way.
"Hi," I answer him quietly, looking at his tired face. There are small dark circles under his eyes, and his stubble has grown to the state of a short beard. "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah," he shrugged it off, adjusting the collar of his polo sweater. "Just solving some problems at the branch."
Christine's morning conversation with her father and her wishes for a good flight flash through my head.
"Did you just get back?" I ask and bite my lip. Why do I never think before I speak?
Alexander squints and looks at me for a few seconds, during which a whole waterfall of sweat flow down my back. I look away, pretending my attention was drawn to the leather-covered console.
"Christine was with you, right?" He asks and I just nod. There is no point in hiding the truth and lying. I'll let Christine deal with her own lies. I'm so tired of always covering for her, especially now that Christine's attitude towards me is quite clear.
"Little liar," Alexander chuckles. "Good thing you were with her."
The last sentence makes my head turn sharply towards him.
"Did you know she wasn't at home?"
"Of course. Christine forgot that the alarm system sends me alerts every time someone comes and goes," he chuckles. "So, you had fun yesterday?"
My foot begins to tap out the rhythm of the music pouring from the speakers. I feel like I'm back in my teens, and that I'm making excuses to my dad for a night out.
"We just went to the club. We're not little girls, and we wanted to take a break from a hard day at work," I bristle, remembering in time that I am no longer a child, and it is not my father sitting next to me.
"Hush, tigress," Alexander laughs wearily. "No one's blaming you. It's good that you know how to take a break from work."
I look anxiously at every inch of his face as he massages the bridge of his nose with his forefinger and thumb. I can see how exhausted he is.
"You haven't been home yet?" I soften a little.
"No, you said you need to talk urgently," Alexander catches my eye. My heart skips a beat and then begins to beat faster. Again, I'm walking on the edge between hitting him or hugging him tightly.
"I wanted to thank you for the flowers and the gift," I hold up my new phone and smile awkwardly. I don't know how to react to kind gestures from men. Maybe it was still worth not opening the gift and returning it?
Alexander smiles a little warmer and reaches for my cheek, but sharply moves his hand aside and touches my wet curl. He wraps it around his finger and then tucks it behind my ear. From his touch, a million small goosebumps rise on my skin, heat burning in my stomach.
All my organs are jumping with delight when he, frowning slightly, runs his fingers along my cheekbone.
"You've gone out of your mind going out with wet hair?" He says hoarsely, not letting go of my face.
"I was in a hurry to see you," I look away in embarrassment, because I'm telling the truth. I really was in a hurry to see him for the first time in a long time. It turned out that all the those days without him being around me has left me feeling unbearably ill and broken without his intense glances and the burning touch from his hands.
The phrase "you never really know what you're fighting for until you lose it" begins to take on real meaning to me. All these weeks I have been telling myself that I do not need his presence in my life, but for some inexplicable reason I am drawn to Alexander.
Only for him does my heart long to jump out of the shackles of my ribs, and my head is spinning at his slightest touch. Without these emotions, I'm turned inside out, and I am ready to do anything to feel them again.
If there is a dependence on people, then I've gotten myself into a big mess, and it seems that no attempt at rehabilitation will save me.
"Don't do that next time, I'll wait," he says in a hoarse voice. The corners of his lips lifting slightly. My heart makes another somersault, and I stop breathing.
His "next time" gives me hope. All questions about Lola and his attitude at the restaurant are forced out of my head, but I do not forget about them. I need to catch my breath and have some space to collect my thoughts.
"Do you want to come up for a cup of coffee?" I quickly blurt out before I get scared of my brazenness and change my mind.
Alexander takes a quick look at his watch, then nods wordlessly. I wanted to argue that if he does not have time, then it is okay, but he has already gotten out of the car, sprinted to the passenger side, and opens my door.
"Coffee won't hurt me now," he smiles as we walk to my entrance.
The inner voice in my head taunts me, remembering the promise I made myself this morning that I would never allow Alexander into my private space.
YOU ARE READING
Forbidden Secret
Romance"You won't tell her anything, understand?" He mutters through clenched teeth, squeezing my wrist so hard that my fingertips start to numb. "I have no intention to tell her," I look at him defiantly because I can't stand being taken for a fool. "This...
