Bitter (wlw) (teacherxstudent)

sixty-three

"I get it" she lightly chuckled. "I'll be okay. I'm honestly happy to be able to relax without having to think about work for a while. And I've been putting off quite a few things lately, maybe I can get those done"

"That's good" I smiled back, suddenly realizing how pretty her eyes looked in the light we were in. "Maybe you can finally get that broken bed slat replaced so it won't squeak each time someone moves"

"It's only your fault if that broke, you know" she snickered, causing my cheeks to feel warmer once I got what she meant.

"Well, I was just reacting to something you did" I played along with a shrug.

"Depends on how you look at it" she chuckled. "But yeah, I'll be alright. Don't worry about me"

"Okay" I nodded, hoping she really meant it and wasn't just saying it to put my mind at ease.

From that conversation alone I already knew my time back home wasn't going to be a pleasant time. I was going to be miserable about having to be with my parents so much and having to completely lie about my life to them, and being there would make lots of bad memories resurface. Not to mention the people from my old school I could potentially run into. But I'd also be missing Sam more than a lot, and probably unconsciously worrying about her too.

It took days for me to mentally prepare myself for all of it, incredibly stressing both Sam and Mei about it all. At least my friend kind of got what I meant, and her town was just about twenty minutes away from mine so we could eventually see each other. But she'd be going there later than me, so we only had a week to do so.

By the time the day of my departure arrived, I was a complete nervous wreck.

"Sam" I said, getting in her car since she was going to drive me to the station. "I don't wanna go"

"I know, my love" she sighed, pecking my lips. "I promise it'll really go by faster than you expect"

"But it's gonna be incredibly stressful" I groaned. "I don't need that in my life"

"You know you can text me or call me anytime you need something" she tried to reassure me for the hundredth time that week.

I was really just exaggerating a bit at first, to get some extra affection, but by the time we almost got to the station I felt like actual tears were about to come out of my eyes.

"Baby, I can't leave you knowing you're crying" Sam said once she'd parked the car, realizing what was going on.

"I'm not..." I attempted to lie, but failed as a tear rolled down my cheek. "Okay, I am. I'm just sad. I know I'm being dramatic about it. But it's just that my life has been so good here, and I'm scared that going back will make everything worse again and-"

"Ellie" she held my face in her hands. "I love you so much. And I know you can get through this. I know you're stronger than you think you are. I promise you can do it"

"I love you too" I just said with a sniffle. "Thank you"

"It's just the truth" she kissed my forehead, her lips lingering on my skin for a few seconds as we sat in silence. "Are you sure you don't want me to walk you to the platform?"

"No, it's alright" I couldn't help but smile every time her face was so close to mine, no matter what.

"Okay. You'll be fine" reassured me one last time. "Text me when you get there?"

"Yeah" was all I could say, not wanting to let go of her hand.

"Have a good journey. I love you so so so much. Never forget that"

"Me too" I kissed her harder than she probably expected, wanting to properly taste her lips for the last time. Once I closed the car's door behind me I turned around one last time, seeing Sam smiling at me.

I blasted really loud music in my headphones immediately after I got onto the train to avoid my own thoughts, kind of feeling bad for the person sitting next to me since they could definitely hear it all too. Even though all happy songs reminded me of Sam and New York in general, and all sad songs just made me sadder than I already was, so it only helped to an extent.

Luckily for me, Vic had arrived the day before, and she said she'd come to pick me up at the station. As soon as I spotted her near the entrance I basically ran to her and squeezed her into a hug before even saying anything.

"Woah" she said, caught off guard and hugging me back. "You okay?"

"Yeah" I softly said, remaining in that position for a while. "Hi, by the way"

"Hi" she laughed. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I am" I stepped back. "It's just been an emotional morning. And I'm happy to see you"

"I get it. I'm really happy to see you too" she nodded with a smile. "You must be tired, I can walk you home if you want. Then we can go out somewhere this evening"

"Sounds good" I smiled back. "Yeah, I need to settle down"

"How was your journey?'"

"Normal, I guess. Nothing exciting" I shrugged. "Yours?"

"Yeah, same. Train rides here are always boring. But I'm glad to be here, kinda"

"Can't really say the same. Apart from the fact that you're here" I forced myself to let out a chuckle so it'd seem as if I wasn't that serious about it.

"You know you can come to my place anytime you want, right? My parents are always happy to see you. They've already asked when you're coming over" Vic said as we approached my house's street.

"I appreciate that, thank you" I genuinely chuckled this time. "Tell them I'll probably be over sooner than they think"

"Again, you're welcome whenever you want" she nodded with a smile. "I'll leave you to your own stuff now"

"Yeah, wish me luck" I joked as we arrived at my front door. "I'll text you later so we can properly catch up this evening"

"Sure thing" she said. "You'll be fine, El" she added, noticing the worry in my face.

"Hopefully" I sighed, ready for the weeks of suffering to start.