Bitter (wlw) (teacherxstudent)

forty-one

10 months before

Sam's pov

"Well, you can go and fuck yourself Maya" I screamed as I slammed the guest's bedroom door behind me. There was no way I was going to spend any more minutes in our bedroom with her.

"At least I'm not gonna be fucking someone else if I do" her voice came from the other side.

"You may as well do that, our relationship couldn't be worse than this. If you can even call it a relationship" I sighed, sitting on the floor with my back leaning on the door.

"So you're breaking up with me now? We've broken up like five times since the beginning of the year, you know damn well that you're gonna come back to me in the matter of a few hours"

"I won't" I said, not even believing myself.

"Come on, open the door at least. This is ridiculous"

"It is, isn't it?" I wiped the tears off my cheeks. I couldn't believe my life had gotten to such a point.

"Sam...Please don't do this"

"Do what? You know we're not gonna last much longer anyway. We just keep hurting each other"

"I should be the one talking about you hurting me. You fucking cheated on me twice, that I know of, and I'm still here because I love you too much to leave" I could hear sobs in her voice.

"And you've been telling me that I need to get over my mental health problems because they're not real and it's just an excuse for me to ask for attention for years now"

"I did not say that"

"You did. And that you're not gonna help me get through it because it's not your job"

"You know I didn't mean that. Please open the door. Don't do this, please"

"Look, I know I'm a horrible person for doing what I did. I'm aware of it" I said, finally getting up and opening the door. "But you also need to admit your own faults"

"I am admitting them" her face was also full of tears. "Please don't leave"

"I'll hurt the both of us if I don't. We can't do this anymore"

"You've said that countless times and came back every time" she crossed her arms, looking at me as if she was trying to challenge me.

"And that's why we need to put an end to this. None of those times turned out successful"

"So we're just gonna throw five years away because of some stupid fight?"

"It's just not a stupid fight. We...I don't know, we really can't just keep on doing this. Maybe we were never meant to be and only realized it now"

"Of course we were meant to be. Please, I love you" her expression went from mad to scared.

"And I love you too. But it's just...it's all so complicated" I sighed.

"Complicated always has been our thing" she cupped my face with both her hands. "You remember when we decided to move here together? We were so scared that it'd make things between us worse than they already were, but we agreed on working through these problems together, no matter what"

"Maybe it's not supposed to be that way. I don't know, I really don't wanna end things like this"

"Don't, then. I promise it'll work out this time" she grabbed my hand. "We don't have to end things"

"Will it, though?"

"We can try"

"Okay" I took a few seconds to breathe properly, something I hadn't been doing in the last few minutes. "Okay. We can try"