MLA's Daughter-in-law

February (1)

1 February 1999

On 29 January, I lay down on the bed and kept staring at the ceiling. In the debate between sleeping and waiting for him, I ended up dozing off. I returned to the land of living when I sensed a hand on my leg. I got up and was frozen to see Shrawan in front of me.

"Did I wake you up?" He asked, making me certain that he was drunk. The entire room was stinking with alcohol. I moved myself a bit away from him. "Princess, am I scaring you?" He asked with a smile and I nodded. "Good," he said with a creepy smile. He pushed me and hovered above her.

"What... what are you doing?" I asked, building up all the courage.

"Don't you know?" He asked, sniffing me.

"I... I'm not ready yet," I tried to oppose.

"I'll make you ready," he said, sinking his teeth in my nape. I tried to resist but he tightened his grip. "When did you get your period?" I kept looking at him with doey eyes but he didn't give up. "Answer me," he demanded.

"Three days ago," I answered unwillingly. "Shrawan, you should sleep now... You are drunk," I politely said while trying to free herself from his grip.

"Shut your mouth, you're a woman and women should not give instructions. They rather follow them," he shouted, crumbling all my hopes. "Strip yourself," he ordered.

I widened my eyes, "Can we wait, I want to do it when I..."

He put his lips on mine, I tried to push him but he grabbed my hands and held them above my head.

"Please..." I mumbled in between the kisses. Little did I know the pain that I was feeling was nothing compared to what was waiting for me in the future. The tears that I was holding in my eyes were shredding little by little.

"Relax yourself or it's going to hurt you more," he said. My screams were buried in his mouth.

The next day, I was sent back to my father's house to complete some rituals. The moment I saw my mother I hugged her and my eyes found it impossible to hold tears.

"Are you alright?" my mother asked when she noticed that we were alone.

I shook my head and told everything to her, " Shuuush don't tell this to anybody else, and don't protest against your husband, a woman has to satisfy his man and you are not the only one who is facing this, every woman comes across this."

"Maa but it is wrong, what about my consent?" I questioned.

"Now you are married and marriage is the consent," my mother said. "It will hurt for a few days but later you'll get habitual so don't think too much and I beg you please don't protest against him, you have to do as he wishes."

"Sorry Maa but I can't stay with him. I have finalized that I'll not go back," I announced my decision.

"Vijayalakshmi, every woman shares intimate relations with their husband, you are not alone. Did he hit you?" she asked furiously. I shook my head. "You don't belong here anymore. This is not your home, your home is where your husband is. Am I clear?"

"Maa, how could you do this to me? This is torture." I whined ruining my kajal.

"This is not torture, real torture would be when you stay here and people will raise finger on your character. Your father will die of shame and I'll burn myself alive in front of your eyes. Do you want it?" She stroked my head and said, "No, right. Then wipe your tears and never mention this to anyone. Am I clear?"

I nodded and did not mention anything that had happened to anyone. My father came to me and asked if I was happy and I replied, "Yes" with teary eyes. I wanted to scream and tell him that no I'm not happy, don't let me go please but seeing my mother pleading eyes I gobbled all my emotions.