Snow on the Beach - S.CONKLIN

09

Steven is frozen in place, standing with his arms in the air, his eyebrows knitted together with shock or perhaps anger. I'm not sure how to read him right now. His features and demeanor are all over the place, telling me that he clearly overheard my phone conversation with my mother. We stare at each other, wondering who's going to be the first to break this silence. And I know it won't be me, that lump is still very present, almost scrapping the inside of my throat. I sigh, maybe right now, in the middle of an arcade is not the place to have this conversation so I start walking away but Steven only has to take two steps and he's caught my wrist. I don't turn around right away.

"What's going on?" I'm surprised to hear how quiet his voice is, I thought he would be mad, angry rather than almost... soft?
"Nothing." I whisper. "You heard nothing, got it?" I turn to meet his eyes and I see his gaze scrutinizing my every traits, like he's searching for a clue on my face that would help him understand. Still, he nods, without complaining which is very un-Steven. He loosens his grip, slowly, like he's unsure if letting me go is the right thing and I walk away, regaining the others by the dancing game machines. Jeremiah jerks his chin when he sees him, asking if everything's okay with his knitted eyebrows and I just smile, I don't want to worry him. Or any of them to be honest. Today is supposed to be fun, a break from the exhausting fight against our parents. I should think about the Boardwalk Showdown, about winning this round because our team is two wins behind the boys team.

"Ready?" Conrad speaks and I see Steven finally joining us.
"My moves are... legendary." Jeremiah cockily replies, positioning himself on the dance platform before twirling on his feet, then bending forward to present me his hand. My arms crossed, I chuckle, my head shaking at his ridiculous chivalrous-like gesture.
"I might not the best choice." I turn to Belly and Taylor, looking down at my knees. "Ah, shit!" I exclaim when realizing that they were, once again, bleeding. Jeremiah quickly bends down, holding on to the metallic bar to keep his balance steady. Eyes squinted, he frowns at the wounds. It's not that bad but Jeremiah always liked a little bit of drama. However, I'm not complaining because at least he cares, and it's been a long time since someone did in that way, like only family would care for one another. But again, Jeremiah is probably an expert on the matter, he used to always clean me up whenever I slipped by the pool or tripped on my bike or when Steven would accidently threw the football in my face. Susannah had taught him well, a real gentlemen. I can see why Belly likes him. Or does she like Conrad? I can't keep track anymore.

"You should really let someone check this out." Jere says.
"It's nothing," I tell him. "I'll just clean up the blood."
"I can take her to the infirmary." Cam Cameron offers and I glare at him. Despite how good his intentions are, he's not helping my case. If i leave, I might miss something. I want to stay and finish the Showdown and I haven't played a single one-on-one game yet today, I'm sure it will help me clear my head from all the madness, from Steven. I think Cam reads the frustration in my eyes because he clears his throat, flickering his gaze to the others around us. I want to protest but Steven is faster than me which catches me off guard. It's becoming an habit recently, him doing things that surprises me. I guess you can change a lot in five years, while looking the same, he's different, grown and it just becomes harder every hour for me to push down those feelings. Especially when he does things like this, as if he sees me.

"No." He frowns, his lip going slightly up in a protective way but he's quick to brush the emotion off his face, turning it into a joke. Like always. "Isn't oxygen like... life's healing remedy?"
"What are you even saying?" Conrad crosses his arms, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips like he knows that Steven is nervously rambling. But what are his intentions? He's giving me mixed signals about everything or at least, that's how I perceive it. One minute, he teases me, calls me a fucking Tin Man and the other, he doesn't want me to go with Cam Cameron. I'm actually growing tired of feeling torn, caught in between what I see, what I feel and what I hope.