Snow on the Beach - S.CONKLIN

05

After Conrad calmed himself down, we stayed on the beach for who knows how long and we talked. He told me everything that happened last summer and this year with Belly and Jeremiah. I had notice the tension between the three of them but never did I thought it was because of some movie-like love triangle. It's weird to see your two cousins fight for the same girl's attention but then, Belly isn't just some girl. She's their best friend, the person who was there for them when Susannah died and is still here, right now, despite the awkwardness.

When Conrad and I walked back from the beach, we found them all dozed off in the couch, the movie's credits rolling loudly on the television screen. Giving the time and the day we all had, we decided it was best to leave them where they were instead of awakening them.
"You can sleep in the guest room, well... your old room. The sheets are in the drawers." Conrad said before going upstairs, in his own room. When I first entered the room, I was surprised by how little it had changed. Three walls out of four were still painted a sage green color and the one behind the bed had still that seashells wallpaper I had chosen when I was six or seven. The decoration is less personalized, Susannah probably got rid of my toys and she moved what used to be my mother's desk out of the room. And yet, it still felt very familiar, even smell the same.

But now, I can't sleep. Too much happened in the last twenty four hours for my mind to stop spinning, going around in circles like a rollercoaster. I'm staring at the ceiling as if it can help me fall asleep. My phone is dead so I don't even know how late or early it is but I've probably been twirling from left to right for a few hours now. Every time I try to close my eyes, I just end up thinking of the worst outcome. The house selling and leaving me being once again, alone, with only the coldness. Or I think about Steven going out of his way to be near Taylor, my heart silently breaking to— Oh my god. The card. I completely forgot to check under the mattress earlier. So, I get up and kneel on the floor. I lift the mattress and pat my hand underneath it, waiting to see if I can catch something that feels like a card. I do the same thing on the other side, lift and pat but nothing. The card is gone and a wave of disappointment washes over me, I really thought it would be there, kind of like a sign that I did exist in this house and my stay here wasn't just a faded memory.

But now that I'm out of bed and my eyes are wide opened, I figure that there's no other way to find sleep tonight than tire myself out. And I know exactly how. I gently turn the doorknob in my hand, making sure that the door doesn't creak when I open it and quickly go grab a towel in the bathroom. I use the one Steven left on the counter earlier and tip toe my way across the dinning room and kitchen to make it to the backyard. It's dark outside, pitch black actually and as I blindly try to make my way to the pool, I trip on what felt like a flower pot. The sound of the ceramic breaking startling me when I hit the ground.

"Fuck." I mutter, wincing at the pain. The asphalt scrapped both of my knees, leaving midsized red marks on my skin. Good thing I was heading to the pool, chlorine will help stop the bleeding and probably sanitize the wounds too. I throw the towel on one of the lounge chair and start stripping out of my clothes. When I left Ocean's Harbor this morning, I didn't think to bring my bag with me so the clothes I have on me right now are the only ones I have, I don't want to wet them. I guess it's safe to be in my underwear since everyone's asleep. Now, I quietly slide my body along the pool's wall, the water is cold at first but I don't mind. I plunge my whole body underwater, sensing my muscles tense to the sudden cold and when I swim back up, I start swimming lengths. I'm fully focused on going from one side to the other, putting all the energy I have left to exhaust myself to sleep. When I come up for air, that's when I see a figure, a baseball bat in their hand. I let out an almost quiet shriek while stopping swimming, I gasp for air as I stare at the intruder, scared that I'm going to get murdered tonight. My hands wrap themselves around my body like they can act as a shield from whoever trespassed. The figure finally comes into the moonlight, his familiar traits making me exhale all of my fright.