Check Up [Style-South Park]

I love you.

Kyle, embarrassed, puts my duvet over me.
He cant even look at me, he's so embarrassed.

"Aren't you gonna kiss me on the forehead, daddy?"
I giggle, knowing that I'm fucking with him right now.

Kyle glares at me.
"I am not your 'daddy'. I've already asked you to stop calling me that." He snaps at me.

"Okay, okay! I'm sorry..."
I say, chuckling nervously.

Kyle is silent. He seems upset.

"What's up, Kyle?"
I ask, noticing this.

"O-Oh, nothing. It's just... yeah. I'm gonna have to go home soon. My mom worries too much, y'know?"

"I get it, Kyle. Don't worry."
It's silent until i speak up again.
"Do you want a hug before you go?"

"Sure, dude."
Kyle smiles, giggling.

He hugs me. It feels so nice. To hug him. It's like I was never upset in the first place, when he's around.

We hug for an almost uncomfortable amount of time, until Kyle sheepishly pulls away.

"Haha, sorry. So, uhm... guess I'll be leaving now..."
He says, nervously.
"Bye."
He turns and begins to walk away.

"Oh, right, bye."
I say.

It's now or never, Stanley.
Tell him.

"Kyle?"
I suddenly call out.

"Huh?"
He turns around, stopping dead in his tracks when I say his name.

"I need to tell you something."
I mumble nervously.
I have to tell him now. It's my best chance.

"And that is?"
Kyle tilts his head.

"I love you, dude."

Kyle stares back.
"Dude..."

I speak back.
"Dude..."

Sadly, we don't have that BASEketball moment, and all he does is say;

"I love you too, dude. You'll always be my best friend."

That last word physically hurts me. It hurts my heart.
I want so much to tell him I don't mean it platonically, but I know I'll be rejected.

'But in Kyle's head...'

I wish I didn't add that on. But if I didn't, then Stan would've found out I was in love with him. I'll only be rejected.

'Back in Stan's point of view...'

I watch him walk away. Kyle's eyes dimmed when he called me his friend.

He's probably just upset that he had to leave.

I watch him open the door.

He looks back at me.

My last chance to tell him I didn't mean it as friends, and...

I miss it. He walks out, closing the door, and I don't have the energy to wake up and go after him.

He's gone, and I won't get any moment as perfect as just now to tell him the truth.
I fucking blew it.

What the fuck is wrong with me.
I'm such a screw-up.
I hate this.

If I bring it up that I love him romantically later on, it'll be sudden and out of nowhere.

Before I know it, I'm crying.
And I end up crying myself to sleep.

I love him so much.

[END.]