Is There Anybody Out There?

Chapter 6: Vernon

I watched, heart sinking as Chan smiles gratefully at Seungkwan. Seungkwan gives him a smile back as the orders keep being made.
As soon as the waiter is finished taking orders, he goes to put it all in.

"So... how often do you all hang out?" Chan asks, breaking the silence.

Minghao got excited, "Oh all the time! As much as we can! Seungcheol made a rule that we should hang out like this at least once a month, but it's usually more when we think of something to do. Speaking of! I want to go swimming! We should all go tomorrow!!"

"Yes! I haven't gone swimming in forever! Let's do it!" Seokmin exclaimed, getting excited too.

"The pool shouldn't be too busy tomorrow since the carnival is still in town." Jun added.

Swimming? I could take some space from Chan and see how he acts with everyone else then. I smiled, "That's true! I'd love to go!" I glanced over at Chan, hoping he says yes.

Chan seemed nervous as he responded, "Y-yeah... I'd love to go too!" he smiled.

"Perfect, we'll all go tomorrow then!" Soonyoung said, happily clapping his hands together.

As dinner continued, I noticed little things of Chan being friendly with Seungkwan and felt the jealousy eating me up inside. I should not be jealous, it's just Seungkwan, one of my best friends. Why am I so jealous, I'm clingy too... I guess because I can't tell if it's JUST friendly for Chan.

This is too soon for me to be this attached. I can't act like this! I'm gonna puke. I can't handle this. I just got out of a horrible relationship I can't be putting myself through this.

Joshua was right, I shouldn't have even thought about it. Of course he wouldn't like me and treat me special, I'm just me.

Jennie was right when she used to tell me no one would love me but her. I can't go through this hole again, I have to calm down.

I started panicking, looking around as everyone finished, excusing myself and standing up, "I'm gonna run to the bathroom, I'll be right back."

"Same." Seungkwan said, getting up also, looking at me to see if it was okay. It wasn't because I was gonna go have a freak out and probably cry a little but it would look suspicious if I said no. I just nodded at him, walking with him to the bathroom and going inside.

Seungkwan follows me in, making sure the door is closed before speaking, "Hey... I'm sorry about what I said before about... everything..."

Oh it's about this. I smiled softly at him, "It's okay, I'm sorry too. You were right. She really wasn't worth me being so hurt and acting the way I did towards you guys."

"That's why I want to talk to you now, privately. Before you get jealous of everyone and spiral again." Seungkwan says, nervously.

I raised my eyebrow, playing it off, "What are you talking about? What am I jealous of?" Shit he does know. What if he tells me to back off... Tells me Chan and him are together?

"I'm not stupid Vernon. I saw your face when I ordered for Chan earlier. You like him more than just a friend. A lot more than just a friend." Seungkwan told me.

I felt myself turn red, looking down at my shoes, "What?! No I don't! What makes you think that? I didn't make any faces..." Shit... At least he doesn't seem mad?

"You looked upset, angry even. Plus, the tiaras? The fact that you both were in that toy store together in the first place? Plus, I know that shirt Chan is wearing, you never let any of us wear that shirt, you don't even wear it that much! Not to mention that Jeonghan messaged me panicked that Chan wasn't home and we found out from Joshua that you two spent all of yesterday together and Chan was sleeping over! There's also your long text message and basically what I'm saying is that you should just shoot your shot cause it's so obvious that you like him."