soundtrack: illicit affairs, this is me trying - taylor swift
MESS IT UP ACT TWENTY! - ' godforsaken mess ' date - 04 / 02 / 2023
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DAISY SWALLOWED HER TEARS, pacing her room. she ran a stressed hand through her blonde hair, feeling strands being tugged out, entangled within her fingertips. she had called gracie over only a few minutes prior, but knowing how punctual she was with her, she was set to arrive any moment.
the minutes stretched into eternity, the air around her beginning to feel stuffy. her wooden floorboards creaked beneath her as she stood, dragging her fingers slowly along the duvet cover her and gracie had picked out for her bedroom together, the duvet cover that had kept them both warm countless nights she had slept over, though they were warmed more so by their bodies pressed flush together.
she begged with her mind to practise what she was going to say, even attempt to rehearse how the conversation would go. her anxiety levels rose, making her throat tingle, suddenly feeling dry. her mind flashed to how hurt gracie would look, and her heart twinged.
she recalled the conversation with matthew for what felt like the hundredth time, replaying it in her mind. his words stung, wrapping around her lungs like barbed wire, threatening to cut off her air supply if she dwelled on them any longer.
she stood from the bed, brushing by her monstera plant, the tips of its leaves browning with the accidental neglect daisy had been giving it the past few days. she cringed, grabbing a bottle of drinking water and emptying it into the plants soil, which absorbed it gratefully. she brushed her fingertips along the cold leaves, her attempts to distract herself from the conversation that was coming being deemed fruitless.
knowing she had to talk to gracie about what matthew had said about her made her stomach lurch, an uncomfortable, distressing tension hanging in the air around her. she brushed a lock of blonde hair over her shoulder, pressing her fingertips deep into the muscle of her shoulder, attempting to ease some of the pain that was beginning to sprout.
she sat at her desk, leaning against the sweater slung carelessly over the back of the comfortable chair. her fingertips absentmindedly tapped on the solid wood of the desk, staring out the window that overlooked downtown los angeles. her mind swirled with memories, the wind whistling in her ears as it slithered through the cracked open glass. she was sure she was going mad, almost being able to make out matthews voice in the wind.
she reached up the shut the window, but faltered. the room felt hot enough already, she could ignore her delusions in order to keep at least one part of the coming conversation comfortable. her head rested on her palm, her mind drifting between scattered memories and the weight of the situation.
she heard the front door open with the signature creak, knowing gracie had no care in knocking anymore after the time they had spent together. she heard her shoes hit the wood floor as she tugged them off. daisy's houses were gracie's houses, both the one in los angeles and the one in new york. they practically lived together when gracie had day breaks from touring, daisy dropping everything to fly to wherever she was if she so much as brought up the prospect of having a freed up schedule.
