Loving Lord Bridgerton

Chapter Sixteen

The wedding was approaching in just a couple of days. I tried my best to hide my nerves, but I don't think I was doing as well as I thought. Everyone seemed to be giving me something to distract me. It got to the point where I was saying no to things before I could even think about it. I just wanted to be alone. Alone in my own panic. It was only when I finally got that, did I get word that my mother wanted to see me. No, no, no, no. She was here to see me. I thought about running, but there would be no time to get out. I could run out the door, but not without her seeing me. If she sees me running from her, it's just going to make her mad. Every chance I had for making this a good day, were so far into the ground there was no hope.

The only thing I could do was curse myself for not going shopping or something or anything to get me out of the house. I would even settle for taking a nap. All I could think about was what I said to her. How I yelled at her. She had time to think. Time to come up with what to say to me. My mother wasn't sweet like Violet. She could tear me down when she didn't even mean to, but she wanted to...I should have went shopping. I didn't want a dress. I preferred to work on my music. How could I be such an idiot?!

I stood up from the chair just as she walked into the room. "Darling." Darling...the word alone made my body tense. She only ever called me darling when the next words out of her mouth crippled me.

"Mother." She took her seat on the couch. "Would you like tea?"

My mother shook her head. "No, we need to chat, and I don't have time to worry about tea." I held my breath, slightly nodding. "Now, sit." Her voice wasn't demanding or harsh. It was...weird. It was boarding on kind. She doesn't do kind.

I held my breath, following her request. Feeling like a child, I sat in the chair. Back straight, head up, and hands resting on my lap. "What brings you to visit unannounced? I'm only glad I didn't decide to go shopping with the Bridgertons' today."

My mother slightly smiled at me, "The Bridgertons are nice people."

I nodded. My mother was always nice to Violet. Mainly, I suspect, out of direction from my father. Edmund was his oldest friend and by comparison Violet got the same respect when they married. My mother was smart enough to know when to follow his way and when to create her own. "I didn't think you would want to see me." I admitted.

"You are my daughter. I shocked you. It was a lot to process and a big request. Plus, I am glad you feel free to be honest with me. Even if it's driven by fright and anger."

I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. So, I just pressed my lips together waiting for her to continue.

"We need to have a chat about your wedding."

That's when I felt my stomach drop. "I thought we talked enough about that. You said to make a choice and I had. The wedding is in three days."

"You need to make another choice."

"I-I don't understand."

My mother stood up, walking over to the door. She had a theory that servants were like rats. Just because you couldn't see them, doesn't mean they can't hear you. I always hated that. Especially because the servants were always nicer to me than she was. She looked back at me and I nervously felt myself avoid eye contact. I heard her walk back over to me. "I am afraid I have talked to your father. You have no dowery."

My eyes snapped back up at my mother in utter shock mixed with disbelief. I was used to hostility from my mother, but from my father...He didn't say much to me, but he was never harsh to me when he did. I've only heard him yell once, and it was when he over heard my mother scolding me for not wearing shoes when I went to get my book from the drawing room. She said he was just stressed and over reacting. She has to be telling the truth. Even with all my mother has done, she has never lied against my father. Anyone else and I wouldn't believe her, but she would never be that reckless to make such a mistake. "I don't understand." I finally spoke, my mouth dry. "Father wants someone to take over his London dealings. That was part of my dowery, and now I have none?"