Soldiers of Destruction and Chaos

Chapter 2

But partially immortal was good enough. To be honest, I trusted everybody but Eta to live until the end of time. Don't get me wrong, Eta is a great warrior, but I've seen the guy dip his hand in boiling water just to see if it was hot enough.

Star is the best medic out of the five of us. Order gave her a few lessons, that combined with the training she got from Artemis, she could heal pretty much anything.

Suddenly, Eta ran in, stopping my train of thought.

"Alpha, Chaos called an emergency meeting!" He yelled, running back to the meeting room.

With a sigh, I got up and flashed into the meeting room.

Chaos smiled at me before I sat down. She was wearing black cargo pants and a plain black t-shirt today.

"I have another mission for you guys," she said, looking around the room.

I noticed that she was a bit nervous. Nobody else saw anything, but I knew Chaos much better than any of them, and I knew that Chaos was nervous.

"Yes?" Dove asked, squinting as if trying to figure something out.

"So, this mission will probably be the most important mission of your lives," Chaos began with a sigh, sitting down.

"My sister and brother, End and Void, are going to vage war with Earth. They don't want to destroy it, and I doubt that they have enough power to. As you know, Destruction is the most powerful entity to ever exist, and the other two are Order and I. End and Void are much weaker than us, and they were never a threat because of this. They've combined their power now, and they want to take over Earth, and slave demigods to do their bidding. Intergalactically, though, so not just normal quests," Chaos explained.

I froze in my seat. Star and Forger noticed and turned to me, causing Eta and Dove to look as well.

"Please tell me that you're not asking me to go there," I said, my voice barely a whisper.

The army looked shocked at hearing me use such a begging tone, but I paid no attention to them as I stared at Chaos, hoping she wasn't asking that.

"'Struct, please. I know I promised, but this is an important threat," Chaos said softly.

The others looked confused.

"I-I don't care if the threat is important! You promised me, Chaos, that I'd never go back there, that was all I ever asked of you!" I shouted, tears blurring my vision.

"But, please, I need you to go back, just this once. Please," Chaos begged.

The others looked more and more shocked.

"I can't. Please, I can't, Chaos, I can't! You saw what that place did to me, you've seen it yourself, you've seen me after nightmares and other stuff, please, just don't send me back," I begged of her with a sob.

"I'm sorry," she softly whispered, her eyes a bit watery.

"Don't say it if you don't mean it, Chay," I whispered, flashing into my room.

Visions of my time on Earth flashed in my mind. The wars, Tartarus, every single bit of it. I sobbed and went into my drawer, finding a blade. I cut and watched as silver poured down my arm. It wasn't as satisfying as mortal, red blood, but it did the job and gave the same pain.

One of the bad parts about being immortal was that you couldn't die, in battle or by suicide, but a good side was that you could cut for hours on end and you wouldn't have any problem with blood loss. The silver ichor was an infinite stock and just generated more as I lost it, meaning, I could never bleed out.

I kept cutting. I was at my ninth cut when my room's door opened.

"Struc-" Chaos froze as she stared at me, sitting on the ground, surrounded by ichor. Since I couldn't bleed out, I cut deep enough for a normal mortal to die at for each cut. It was more painful and distracting.

A few tears fell from her eyes as she walked forward and sat on the floor next to me. She grabbed the blade with shaking hands. I was too disassociated to do anything, so I let her take it.

She bit back a sob as she helped me up.

"Come on, Struct," Chaos said quietly and softly.

She summoned some supplies and stopped the bleeding. She wrapped my arms and gave me some nectar. Nectar didn't heal me now, because it was basically food to me. She probably just gave it to me to make me feel better.

Chaos gave me a watery smile as she took the glass from me, teleporting the stuff she summoned back. She helped me sit down on my bed while she wiped the ichor up. She grabbed a black hoodie and sweatpants from my wardrobe, and handed them to me.

Her hands were still shaking. I felt bad for making her worry so much. I took the clothes and changed into them as Chaos wiped up last of the ichor. She smiled at me and took my ichor covered clothes, teleporting them to get cleaned.

"Are you better now?" Chaos asked gently, sitting down next to me on my bed.

I nodded. I wasn't okay, and Chaos knew that, but I was better.

"Look, Struct, it doesn't matter if you're immortal and can't die. This is still incredibly unhealthy. Please, talk to me," Chaos asked, giving a little sob at the end.

"I-I'm sorry," I muttered, slowly getting out of my disassociated trance. I looked at her face.

She had tears dripping down her cheeks, but she was smiling sadly.

"It's not your fault, Struct. If anything, it's mine. I should've kept my promise, and I didn't," Chaos said.

"Don't blame yourself. You're right, Chay, this threat is too big to ignore. And I know you wouldn't've asked me unless it was something as big as this. I still trust you," I said with a sad smile.

Chaos smiled as her tears stopped. She reached out and wiped the tears on my cheeks, still falling down.

"It's okay to cry, Struct, we've been over this," she whispered into my ear.

I gave a small sob. Chaos hugged me, gently playing with my hair. I felt the sobs wrack my body, but I was too disassociated to feel anything else.

After an hour or so, Chaos moved our position so that we were lying down on my bed. I cuddled close to her and kept sobbing. She whispered softly to me, and put the blanket over us. I eventually cried myself asleep, wondering what I did to deserve somebody as perfect as Chaos.

She stayed up with me as I cried, even though I cried for a good four hours. It made me feel better, and I was grateful for her.

Normally, I don't cry. I've nearly never cried on Earth. But now, according to Chaos, I've actually gotten time to process my trauma. Apperantly, being immortal made my memory better. And I always pretended to be okay, even as Destruction and Alpha, and that just made me worse. Chaos told me that I had PTSD, and that's why I was still processing this stuff. It was because I see it again and relive it, and its like a wound that scabs over, but peels off just before it becomes a scar.

It was annoying, but hey, thats what it was.

I was grateful that Chaos dealt with me and my mentally fucked state. I always feel like I'm asking too much of her, even if she says that it's only normal for somebody to help me when I'm at my worst.

Of course, my family (Eta, Star, Dove, Forger, Order) know that I have the occasional PTSD, anxiety, and panic attack, but they don't know I cut.

I completely freaked out and panicked when Chaos walked in on me cutting for the first time, I thought she'd be disgusted with me, but she just rushed forward and helped me clean up.

She also kept it a secret, which I am eternally grateful for. I always wear long sleeves, or at least get help from Chaos to cover up my scars.

But now, going back to Earth...it would be horrible.