We're Gonna Be Okay (Emily Prentiss)

Chapter Seven

She looked to see they were still holding hands, Alyiva liked this feeling she wasn't quite sure what that feeling was yet but she liked it. She lay there still, so as to not wake the sleeping woman just listening to her breath in constant rhythm with the IV drip that was still placed in her hand. As Emily began to wake her breath quickened ever so slightly her eyebrows scrunching in the middle, her mask slipped slightly but the moment her eyes opened and  felt the girl's hand in hers, she smiled softly at Alyvia. Squeezing her hand to let her know that she was awake, "Good Morning Sweetheart, how did you sleep?" " Okay I guess, you didn't need to stay all night though-" "I wanted to." Emily gave her hand a little squeeze again to show she meant it. 

Alvyia was used to goodbyes. It was nice that Emily had stayed but at the same time she knew that Emily would have to leave too. It was always better when she instigated the goodbye; it just seemed to hurt a little less. Stiffening her body and struggling to sit up, she slowly and calmly said 

"Well I guess you have another case that must be calling your attention, I'm sorry if I got in the way of that. Thank you for all you have done for me but I also know this is probably goodbye." She smiled politely, Emily knew a rehearsed lie when she saw one, this young woman had been taught taking up any space is bad not only mentally but probably physically too- Emily thought back to what the doctor had mentioned last night; Her body was rather weak for her age. She probably had been punished for it and eventually started punishing herself; we also found quite a few old and or healing ones as well. 

Emily met the girl's eyes with her own to let her know that she sees her, really sees her. " I don't have another case after this I'm heading back home- so no worries you are not holding me up from anything. I do have some paperwork to do though and some quick phone calls to make but I can have my friend Clara come to stay with you while I am sorting those out, how does that sound?" Alviya slowly nodded. 

When Clara arrived she and Emily talked for a few minutes outside of the hospital room, standing in the hallway Emily stood nervously picking at her fingernails for a few seconds taking a deep breath she said quickly "I'm going to try to adopt Alyvia." her eyes went straight to Clara's trying to gauge her reaction to this idea, Clara looked at her and softly smiled. She wasn't really surprised, she saw it in Em's eyes the moment they found Alvyia. Clara knew Em had always wanted kids back when they were together, they would talk about it on occasion and the light in her eyes matched the light in her eyes when she talked about Alyvia. 

"I think that's wonderful Em." Clara pulled her into a warm hug and planted a little kiss on her cheek. They walked back into the room holding hands with small smiles. Alyvia had seen her friends go through many relationships; one could say she was an expert on spotting them; whether it was in the past or something in the making she could not quite tell.

"Hey Alvyia, you might not remember me, my name is Clara and I'm a good friend of Emily's." Her face looked familiar but she did not quite place it in the mush that her memory had become due to the meds, she smiled a little and looked at Emily when Clara mentioned good friends, Emily let a little cheeky smile form on her lips. 

"Hi, Clara, Emily's good friend. I don't really remember you but I want to thank you for taking time out of your day to come and hang out with me."

"No worries! I brought Uno, a few books, and a puzzle from our jet. As well as some clothes. We can do anything you would like." 

"I would be more than happy to do anything right now. Especially change." Alviya got up slowly from the bed, a nurse had come in an hour or so before and removed Alyvia's IV, but her body was still sore from the events of yesterday. She made her way to the bathroom holding the sweatpants and hoodie gingerly. She took off the icky hospital gown and stood in front of the mirror for a moment, she took a shallow breath running her hands over her marked body. Her arms and legs looked like clubs bandaged in thick white gauze, her stomach had one thick white band-aid as did her chest. 

Sighing slowly her mind wandered to the first and only time her Grandmother saw them, it was an unexpected embassy party, she was eleven, and her grandmother was often busy leaving Alyvia to grow up unattended most of the time, caught off guard and scared she had haphazardly tried to cover them with the foundation. 

"Let me see, Alyvia" she knew she could not say no so she painted on the fake smile she had perfected and walked out of her bathroom. "Oh my god Alyvia, what have you done to yourself?" Alyvia stood there silently, her Grandmother took her shoulders seemingly revolted at touching the scars, and forcefully turned her small body to face the mirror. "Look what you've done to yourself. How do you live with yourself, my dear god, it's disgusting. How am I supposed to take you to parties? Your appearance is ruined, just ruined. I say." Her nails dug into Alyvia's shoulders, as she spoke "I must tell the tailors no more short sleeves no more pants, do you know what you have done for me?" Alyvia shook her head, tears welling up behind her eyes "You have made my busy life ten times more stressful, you should be more grateful Alyvia. I took you in when your mother died. It was that or foster care-lord knows your father could care less, this?" she picked up her arm raising her voice "This is ungratefulness! for all I have done for all I have sacrificed you ruin my image?!" 

The rest of that night they hardly spoke except when they were engaging with other people at the party. They never spoke about her arms and legs again. Tights and cardigans became a uniform; one Alyvia wore to all events. From that night on she felt like she was holding her breath, the self-harm didn't stop though, her Grandmother's hatred for her or "it" as she became referred to made it worse; a habit; a cure-all to any stress. Her Grandmother cared about their collective image obsessively, having put her on her first intensive diet at age eight, fostering an unhealthy relationship with food that never really went away, and silent treatment if she said anything out of turn or if she was just being a kid. Her whole childhood had been a battle where she could never win not matter what she did.

A knock on the door brought Alyvia to reality, "Alyvia honey are you okay in there?" Emily asked right outside the bathroom door. 

"Yes!" Her chipper voice surprised even herself, "I'll be out in a second, sorry." Alyvia slid on her sweats and the hoodie quickly wiping away a few stray tears that had decided to fall. Sitting down on the bed slowly, Alyvia muttered, "Well, I really should not keep you from your work..."  Her eyes were focused on some suff marks on the floor, avoiding direct eye contact with Emily.

"Hey," Emily replied gently, sensing Alyvia's unease. She stepped around the side of the bed, approaching the teen, she lifted Alyvia's chin, guiding her until their gazes met directly. Emily's dark brown eyes locked onto Alyvia's ocean blue ones.

"I'm here if you need anything - just call," Emily reassured her. She held out a little card with her number on it, taking the card delicately the teen smiled this time Emily could tell it was genuine.

A/N 

Hello, hello! I hope your week went okay, mine was pretty decent. I hope your liking it so far :) Little reminder to get a little something to drink or eat and to take care of yourself! 

& with that I'll see you next Friday!