Uh oh...! // SAIKI K X READER

the spaghetti monster's many problems

Y/N POV

I woke up in Saiki's arms this morning. I honestly thought he'd leave after a little while, but his embrace is a welcome one. As my mind catches up to being awake, I notice that I've moved since falling asleep.

I look around at my predicament and see Saiki looking back down at me.

"Are you feeling any better?" He asks

"Yes, thank you" I can feel his breathing, slow and evenly paced. It's a welcome distraction to focus on. I feel tempted to hug him, but knowing his opinions on physical contact I should count my lucky stars he's even letting me be here with him.

As if he could read my mind, he reaches around me and pulls me into a gentle hug, "When was the last time you ate?"

"I think I ate something last night"

"That explains the very cold and half eaten bowl of spaghetti on the floor."

"...That wasn't me. That was the spaghetti monster." I try to lighten the mood, not wanting it to stay so gloomy.

"Well the spaghetti monster needs to eat something or else the Kusuo monster will make her."

"You can't make the spaghetti monster do anything. She's a free spirit, I'll have you know."

And with that, Saiki picked me up and slung me over his shoulder like I weighed nothing.

"RELEASE ME, LEST I RELEASE MY SPAGHETTI FURY."

"Good grief, stop shouting. You need to eat something, sit down." He commanded, before pulling out a chair and setting me down on it.

"I'm perfectly capable of making food for myself!" I huff, feigning spite

"Just let me help you."

"Fine, but for the record I object!"

"When don't you?" He teases, turning around and grabbing a myriad of ingredients from my kitchen

"Why do you know where I keep everything, I don't even know where I keep half that stuff"

"Stop talking and drink this." He says, handing me a glass of water

"You're poisoning me. This is your final payback. I can tell."

"Despite your witch-like personality, the water shouldn't hurt you."

"I don't like you. Not one bit." I mutter before drinking the whole cup in one go

"......If you get a stomach ache I'm not helping."

"I knew you didn't love me.. after forty long years of marriage, no less.... what will we tell our children?"

"That their mother is delusional."

"Whatever. They'll love me more, you will get no custody."

"They wouldn't do that, you're not suitable to raise kids alone. Not while you drink water and get stomach aches, at least."

"Then I guess I'll have to take things slow... for the kids..."

"You're weird."

"You're the one who's burning pancakes right now." I comment, to which Saiki very quickly turns and stares at the pan like he could will it to un-burn.

"It's not burnt. See, perfectly cooked."

I stare in disbelief at the completely fine pancakes, not a trace of burning on them.

"Whatever games you're playing I don't like them"

"Just let me make you food in peace or I'm taking the pancakes home for myself"

Rolling my eyes at him, I start scarfing down pancakes until Saiki stops me.