A Step Off the Path

Josh and Irma

God, what a mess.

He argued with himself:

"It's just a crush."

"No, it's not."

"You've had crushes before."

"Hardly. There have been some girls I've fancied, but nothing like this."

"You'll just have to get over it."

"How?"

"I dunno know. Just do it."

"I can't."

"Then you're stuffed, fellah."

"Oh, piss off."

This was hopeless. Stop looking at her, stop dreaming about her, stop wishing, just stop!

Then Irma asked him to help her with their current maths assignment. Two other students were already seeking his help - he gave Irma priority.

In the library during a free period: their shoulders touching, their hands brushing frequently, smiles, exclamations and 'oh, I see's'. Josh having to force himself to focus on the work.

Finished, Irma full of gratitude, "Josh, you're terrific. Thank you so much." She kissed him, on his lips, a quick peck.

The tingling feeling spread from his lips through the rest of his body.

Chapter 3: being honest

Irma had dumped her boyfriend. Josh's friends began telling him than Irma was showing a lot of interest in him. Even he began to believe it. One day he walked her home from school.

That was all it took. Suddenly they were dating, going out together, boyfriend and girlfriend. Oh, God.

Irma felt the corset; he explained it by saying it was support for a sore back; she offered to rub it for him; he thanked her, but demurred for 'the moment'.

He couldn't keep it up. She was a truly wonderful girl; she didn't deserve to be deceived; he had to tell her.

It was hard, so hard. They both ended up crying. It was over.

Josh's world fell apart - days, weeks of desolation.

He was in his final year of high school, the exams only a few months off, but he couldn't concentrate, couldn't think straight. A life without Irma seemed no life at all.

His worried parents organised a party for his upcoming eighteenth birthday hoping it would 'snap him out of it'.

Irma came up to him in the schoolyard, "Josh, invite me to your party, please?"

"Of course. Will you partner me?"

"Of course."

The party was on a Saturday night. It was good, despite the strain between them.

Then saying goodnight: "Josh, I miss you, but I'm not a lesbian. I don't want to judge you, but I can't understand what you're doing to yourself."

"Irma, I miss you terribly. I don't know if I can explain it properly, but I'll try if you'll let me."

"Okay, yes, come over tomorrow after lunch."

Irma went home by herself.

Chapter 4: Irma's suspicions

The next day, Josh told her how it had all began: how at first he had become fascinated with girls clothes; the way they looked, the colours, the different items, the variety and so on, and he told her about wearing his sister's old clothes from a young age.