State of Love and Trust |Eddie Vedder

Stormed In

Since New Years night Chris had been by my side. I'd say it was annoying but then I'd be lying to myself. I never knew how much having him there for me meant to me really. Nights at first were hard but luckily he allowed me to sleep next to him. Eventually I was able to start feeling myself again. Eddie had tried coming over to speak with me but I have asked Chris to keep him away. I wasn't really ready to face Eddie after Tiff publicly humiliated me in front of so many people. Blasting my personal business for all to know. I know it wasn't Eddie's fault and I know he doesn't deserve to be ignored, he too had his personal business thrown out there too. I just wanted some distance.

Here I laid my head against Chris' chest as he smoked his rolled joint and scribble lyrics down, his brows frowning from focusing. My days were either spent with me at work or doing exactly this. "Why couldn't I have just fallen for you? Things would've been so much easier." I tilted my head up to look at my friend. Chris chuckled and glanced down at me, "Who says I would've been attracted to you?" He teased. I rolled my eyes and smirked at his small joke. Chris handed me the joint and sat up straighter. "It's possible that the big man upstairs felt you needed a soul mate in not a lover but in a friend." He rubbed my back. I nodded, he had a good point there. "Feeling any better?" He asked, keeping his eyes on me while I took another drag. Handing the joint back, I rubbed my eyes and sat up. "Actually I am. Thank you for pretty much taking care of me. Seriously." I looked over and smiled. Chris smiled back and patted my knee, " I will always be there Lemon."

I looked around his room in thought. With these last few days I have had a lot of time to think and the thought of returning back to San Diego no longer sat well with me. The more time I stayed, the more Seattle felt like home again. "Think I want to stay in Seattle." I stated randomly. Chris choked on the smoke as he waved his hands to clear the air. "Wait what?" He coughed again. I couldn't help but giggle at him struggling. "I am going to fly back to San Diego but not to stay. I am going to give my Aunt Laura a proper goodbye and then pack my stuff. You looking for a roommate?" I raised my eyebrow. Slowly he started to smile, showing those pearly whites that the ladies loved so much. What a doofus. "You will always have a place Lemon. No questions." He replied. I am so thankful to have Chris apart of my life. You rarely find real friends and that is exactly what I had in him, he was my ride or die.

I spent most of my days with both Chris and Stevie till it came time to finally get on that plane and head back to California. Completely ignoring Eddie. Stevie was excited at my decision and agreed to join me on this new journey of our lives, spending the time in San Diego to say goodbye before making the big move to Seattle. Parting ways the moment we landed and heading to my home that I shared with my Aunt Laura.

Seeing my Aunt again helped a bit with the unknown feelings that I have been enduring these last few days. I thought I could confidently say I was completely over Eddie but I soon found myself starting to miss him. I missed hearing his laugh and seeing his eyes light up. I miss his touch and those lips. God, I am just mentally torturing myself! I spent the first two days catching up with my Aunt and spending time with her. My Aunt filled me in on the latest gossip while I filled her in with what had happened with Jamie, she grew upset in what Jamie had done. I left out the attempted rape but I told her how he had acted during his stay and she was surprised in how his behavior was. Just shows us that we knew nothing of Jamie, not the real him at least.
"I really wish you would've called me when everything with Jamie happened. I never knew he showed up like that Lennon, I feel absolutely terrible in even giving him the address of where you were staying." My Aunt has been apologizing since finding out.

I walked around my room and began to pack for my small camping trip I was taking for myself. "It wasn't your fault Aunt Laura. No one could predict what Jamie was planning. Either way, that chapter is now over and I am now moving on to bigger and better things." Grabbing my bikini and throwing it into my bag. We had a private beach not far from where we lived that had some sweet waves and so I figured to take a few days to camp out on the beach and just spend some much needed alone time to reflect on all that has happened. "Is that why you are moving?" She watched me move around the room. The moment I had explained that I was moving to Seattle, she had been down and worried.