State of Love and Trust |Eddie Vedder

Hunger Strike

"Lennon....Lennon. LENNON!" My eyes shot up when I felt a shove against my shoulder. Looking over, I could see Stevie already sitting up from the bed we shared. I knotted my brows. What the hell did she want? "Whose coat is that?" Pointing towards my small frame. I groaned and laid my head back against the pillow. "Was that not the corduroy that Eddie wore last night?" I didn't have to look at her to know that she was smiling. I didn't even bother answering her. "What time is it?" Ignoring her question and looking to my digital watch that sat around my wrist. It was 9 in the morning. So I had ok sleep.

I sat up and rubbed my eyes from sleep. Today I had to start looking for work. I was going to be here for awhile and I needed to help Chris out as much as I could. Originally he argued since he was the one that offered me staying with him but deep down, I couldn't leave my friend hanging. "What time did you get in?" Stevie pushed for answers. Knowing that she was only going to be disappointed. I rubbed my face. "Nothing happened if that is what you were wondering. We literally got something to eat, then walked here and said our goodbyes." I explained. Stevie giggled at my frustration. "Well I was told by Chris that Eddie's behavior towards you was not like him. Even when Tiff came around, he never went out of his way to impress her." I looked over at my best friend confused. "Who says he was trying to impress me? As far as I know, everything was very appropriate and friendly." Stevie raised an eyebrow like she was not falling for it. I mean was it not him just being friendly?

"Lennon, the man knew you had a ride home but yet offered to walk you home. Plus he gave you his coat when it got cold last night and from what I remembered, he was wearing only a shirt under that jacket. Seattle is not warm like it is in California sweetheart." I looked back down at the brown jacket and sighed. What the hell was I doing? I placed my face in my hands. I was growing frustrated with myself. "What the hell Stevie. I am with Jamie, who is patiently waiting for my return and yet here I am walking late at night with a stunning blue eyed stranger!" Stevie was now laughing at my dismay. "You think he is stunning now?" She pointed out. I couldn't help but laugh now.

I looked to my best friend, hoping that she had all the answers in what I needed to do. "Lennon, are you happy with Jamie?" She asked. The question threw me off because through the years of being with my boyfriend, never did Stevie really question it. "Yeah, of course I am...I mean..I think I am?" I was starting to sound unsure now. I threw myself back onto the bed, groaning in how stupid this was all starting to sound. "Stevie, I have been dating Jamie for 6 years! And I have only been here for one day and I am smitten by another man. Already?" I turned my head and looked over at her. Stevie stood up and heard every concern I had. "Maybe 6 years is too long Lennon. You and Jamie haven't really done anything as a couple except hold hands and kiss. Honestly, that sounds painful." Stevie explained.

I sat back up and was a bit confused in what she was meaning. "Could be the reason you feel so pulled towards Eddie is because you see him as a man, a real man. Where as with Jamie, he is still that little boy you met in high school. Jamie is a goodie two shoes where as Eddie looks rough around the edges, like he takes chances. Lennon, you are still a virgin. Maybe it's time to stop waiting on Jamie and pop that cherry." The mentioning of me losing my virginity cause me to flush. I cannot believe Stevie was standing here and telling me to go have sex. "Do you honestly think that me having sex with someone random is really going to fix my problem?" I was sounding a bit annoyed.

Stevie shot me a look like I was stupid. "I didn't say with someone random. No, what I mean is maybe you should have sex with Eddie." My eyes shot open in how daring my friend was sounding right now. "How could you say that Stevie? You know Jamie and yet you are telling me to sleep with Eddie, someone we both don't know very well?" I was a bit shocked in her brashness. I always thought she liked me with Jamie, minus the fact that he was a boring lover. "Lennon, sweetheart. You are here to explore and live a little. What more than sleeping with a gorgeous man like Eddie? You are on birth control, so no worries in that department. It's not like you have to marry the man. Just sleep with him. I know Jamie, yes but I have stood by and watched my best friend look miserable. You and Jamie are not meant to be sweetheart." My heart hurt a little with her honesty. I never knew that she felt this way about my relationship.