The Stars

now what's on your nasty old mind?

Author's note ok so I usually put this at the bottom but I'm super sick so expect some short chapters of I post but when I get better I'll make some long chapters this chapter isn't really about where we left off either this is a better detailed description of what went down in the hanger between kaito kokichi and Lloyd the song above is something I recommend listening to as you read this chapter it's name is not allowed by TV girl this song is about sex so be careful upon listening if you want you can skip too 2:06 it's the part that I want you too hear and for those who can't listen to it or use YouTube the song pretty much goes

Now what's on your nasty old mind?
All by himself sitting alone
I hope we're still friends yeah I hope you don't mind
All by himself sitting alone
I hope we're still friends yeah I hope you don't mind
All by himself sitting alone
I hope we're still friends yeah I hope you don't mind

And so on the song is a symbol that kokichi wanted to be kaito's friend but ended up dying alone after all and "sitting alone" referencing kaito being close to death in the exile with Lloyd also you can't really listen to the song and read at the same time so you listen to the song before you read

The beginning of the chapter is after maki had shot them both and saw kokichi "drink" the antidote

Kaito's pov
"Hmph!?" Kokichi shoved the bottle into my mouth leaving me shocked as liquid pord down my throat this is impossible I just saw him drink it....he lies but why? Why would he save me over himself...? "Ok....ok..so kaito come out here with me....ok?" Kokichi asks seeming to have a bit of a struggle standing up straight what's wrong with him? "O-ok..?" god damn it why am I stuttering he's the one who should be scared of me he's weak now! Ugh my head hurts I feel a strong cough bubbling up in my stomach but I push it back down walking out of the bathroom with kokichi he suddenly stopped and took off his shoes "don't make a blood trail we'll do that later" he said so I stop and take off my own shoes that were covered in blood walking with kokichi to this.......crib? Like a baby crib...why did he want me to see this baby crib?

Kokichi picked up a....baby!? "W-WHERE DID THAT BABY COME FROM!?" I can't help but scream "SHHHHH "maki roll" might still be outside and your supposed to be dead as fuck!!! Now this is Lloyd...." Kokichi stopped looking unsure of himself before continuing now kaito Lloyd is my son I gave birth to him about 4 days ago" I feel sick kokichi gave...birth? "B-but you're a dude! Dude" I say feeling extremely confused "yeah kaito I am a dude but there was a time that I wasn't I was once known as a "girl" but that was wrong it was so wrong! I couldn't look in the mirror! I avoided showering so I didn't have to stop binding! I was once just a teenage "girl" struggling to understand who "she" was!.....and it just so happens "she" was a dude but that didn't stop him from experiencing the wrong life  because he was still wrong he just knew why and since he couldn't do anything about it he embraced it it was hard sometimes he still wonders if he's wrong but he knows that just because he was born this way doesn't mean he had to hate it it took him years but he learned to except himself and love himself again! And it was a hard and lengthy journey kaito! But it was one he had to face...but just because it didn't hurt as much didn't mean he had all the right things he still has....breast and a mew mew kaito and can very much still get pregnant so that's where 'that baby' came from! Damn idiot..." I wanted to yell at him for calling me an idiot but his story about being a girl hurt my heart I can't even imagine having to think about being trans gender was a weird concept kaito had never met a trans person before but he knew what they were he understood what being trans was but hearing a trans person explain...what was that word again..gender dysphoria? Yeah that's right gender dysphoria kaito couldn't help but wonder how awful kokichi must have felt but that's when it really hit kaito

kokichi had given birth but at what point wait no he told me already 4 days ago but how I mean of course he has.....the stuff that means he must have been pregnant before the killing game..? does he know who the dad is? Is he okay? Kaito had heard that giving birth was the most painful thing and he knew people died from giving birth....his mother being one of them... His father killed himself after the loss of his mother that's what landed him with his grandparents kaito used to blame himself but he overcame the guilt of technically murdering someone that's when kaito suddenly thought about Maki she was the reason kokichi was going to die  which meant that she was going to face the same guilt that idea made kaito sick as he began to cough violently