𝐎𝐂𝐄𝐀𝐍 - 𝑪𝑯𝑹𝑰𝑺 𝑺𝑻𝑼𝑹𝑵𝑰𝑶𝑳𝑶.

twenty one!

she's still frowning when elliot pulls away and gives her a comforting touch to her shoulder.

despite wanting to be beside her friend's side no matter what, she not only knows how lily feels about being smothered, but also because she's not the only one that needs to talk to and see her.

so, with that, she drops her hand from lily's shoulder and walks over to sit by nessa on the couch.

who steps forward next is both allison and jake.

allison throws herself at her sister's body, trying to hold in the trembling breaths of worry that she feels.

"please, don't do that again, okay?" she murmurs quietly, causing lily to quietly nod as she pulls away from her.

"why didn't you just talk to me? you know i'd understand." allison asks worriedly as jake grabs her hand to comfort her from how insanely worried she's been about her little sister.

lily frowns, dipping her head down to look at the floor for a moment, to try to come up with both the energy and the courage to admit the truth.

taking another deep breath when allison calls her name, she looks up and begins to explain, even with the trembling and wavering of her voice, "i get that you know some of it, but—and i'm sorry—you can't get it."

allison frowns and knits her brows together in both confusion and offense.

lily sighs before continuing again, "you do know a little bit of it and you have some experiences with it, but i went through it more intensely. especially when you moved out after you graduated."

allison, once again, is offended.

although, before she can defend herself, madi steps forward, "i don't think she's blaming you—she's just trying to explain."

lily nods in both acknowledgement and appreciation and madi nods back.

allison deflates, but waits for her sister to explain more.

"she's right, okay? i'm not blaming you—i never have. i just mean that i was usually the target for mom and dad and especially with my bpd, nessa was the only one to understand that." she explains, gulping when she sees the hurt look on her big sister's face.

"i'm sorry. it's nothing against any of you," she apologizes, talking to everyone now. "you guys could've tried to help and understand, but you couldn't do it to the extent that nessa could. and with how intense everything was, especially with what happened at the house, i was seconds away from an episode."

she turns to motion to elliot before speaking again, "some of you know," she says, then motions to the triplets and madi. "and some of you don't. but, with those episodes, i can't always control how i act, and i was scared of what i would say or do. so, i needed to leave before it got too intense."

"you could've called or texted one of us to let us know, though." jake says, for the first time, that tone of voice telling her how much of a protective father-figure he really is.

lily nods, frowning. "i know. i should've."

taking in a deep breath, she tries to ignore the tears blurring her vision. "i guess i was just so focused on staying in control that i didn't think about that." she says genuinely, sniffling.