𝐎𝐂𝐄𝐀𝐍 - 𝑪𝑯𝑹𝑰𝑺 𝑺𝑻𝑼𝑹𝑵𝑰𝑶𝑳𝑶.

four!

[vlogs, texts, social media!]

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TW: MENTIONS OF MENTAL DISORDERS, ED'S, THERAPY, DEPRESSION, AND ANXIETY!

[vlogs!]

LILY SITS ANXIOUSLY ON THE ground, just outside of her apartment building, while holding her camera.

then, she starts recording. "hey, guys! how are you guys?" she asks with a big, fake smile on her lips.

"so, i know you guys don't really get this type of content on my channel that much, but we're going to be doing something different in this vlog—it's not even a vlog really,"

lily takes in a deep breath, before continuing. "and i know that elliot or any of my other friends aren't in this vlog—especially when they usually are. but, i'm going to get to that in a second."

"what i mean by all of this, is that i'm going to be talking about some personal things—i don't want to and i don't like to pretend everything's fine when they are, in fact, not okay."

she gets up and starts walking over to the door to the entrance to some apartment doors in the building as she starts talking lowly, so that no one hears her or gives her weird looks. "i wanted to sit outside for a bit to get some fresh air because in all honesty, as some of you know, i've been pretty isolating towards myself and haven't been leaving my apartment that much,"

"and sadly, elliot is out today hanging out with some friends. so, it's just going to be me in this video for the most part, hopefully—this is because it'd be hella fucking embarrassing if i was in the middle of talking about these personal things that i'm about to get into and then have to stop talking about it in the middle of my explanations, if she were to get home."

when she makes it towards her door, which is a little far away from the other apartments—the landlord wanted to give elliot some space from everyone else since she's pretty famous and he didn't want any fans to bother her and lily—she pulls out her keys and starts to unlock the door, before opening it and stepping inside.

once she's through the threshold, she shuts the door gently, before flipping the lock, so that no one but elliot can get in—you'd be shocked at how many people or fans have tried to visit them without permission.

"okay!" she says, her voice going back to its normal volume as she moves to the living room and sets her camera against the couch and sits down on the floor.

"now, lets talk," she starts, tucking her hair behind her ears. "now, i may be getting into some very personal things that i've been going through, but i'm not naming any names and some things i can't go into detail with because it's just fucking embarrassing, you get me, guys?"

"the reason i've been hiding at home is because i've been going through some really bad things. i have been recently been doing therapy with—god bless her, she's so understanding and doesn't treat me differently because of the fact that a lot of people see me as famous, even if i don't—a very genuine therapist, due to some things i wasn't dealing with for a long time," she pauses to take in some deep breaths, her anxiety making her feel a little overwhelmed.