You will never be too much for the right person.
I wanna be loud and immature and weird as fuck and goofy, I want to be hyper and sing songs and dance and yet I want to feel relaxed and have deep conversations when I feel like it. I want to be able to be emotional and live and love LOUD.
I've noticed a big shift in myself and I like it.
We sat and threw rocks, spoke a lot. I needed that conversation. Everything with iehab, I wanted and needed that. I hope someone feels that way about me one day.
We were gonna go for a long walk but we ate a lot and was so full so we decided to find somewhere quiet and read a book. I had brought my book with me I just keep it in my bag and Iehab keeps the book I got her in car, we didn't even plan to read but we suggested it and we sat somewhere so scenic and picturesque on this long bench and we just sat there in silence and read. It was so nice and I really like the book I'm reading it seems a little like Verity.
Iehab almost took her hijab off. She wrapped it loose. We wrapped it loose in her car when we were parked at her house.
We then sat in the car and spoke for a bit and went bay and then hers and we sat in her car and talked and laughed loads . THERE WAS BROWN BBQ MCDONALDS SAUCE ON MY CAR. My poor car she didn't deserve that😂😂😂😂 iehab found it so funny 😂😂😂 she took my phone and saw a pic and of my figure and low-key have abs. Not right now but a month ago I was in the best shape, not too bad rn tho
And we sat in the car and the sound of rain was so relaxing. Parked car conversations are therapy sessions but we didn't even talk deep that much cos we did that on the pier, we talked about anything and everything. Mainly how to be treated right In a relationship. We talked about jokes and TikTok's and other stuff and just anything really.
We said how small communication in the day just so we know life updates like "hey I'm just going out with friends and things" instead of no communication like literally the bare minimum.
We were just deeping so much.
I called the doctors. My blood test hasn't come back.
And then we drove home. It was therapeutic.
I had my fave songs in the car and I listen to songs some people wouldn't expect of me sometimes and I smiled when this one part in this song came up as I was driving and it was just so freeing. Two lanes were closed on the motorway so I had to take a longer route home but I like that I'm learning new routes now
Like wow
I'm alive, I just saw my best friend. I laughed. I laughed until I cried. I talked. We read. I loved. I loved loud. Us girls, we are different to guys. We hold onto what guys say. When a guy doesn't hold onto that, it's upsetting. The best thing a guy can do is to keep his word (besides loving you and treating you like a princess) I told iehab that A said to me he'd give me his word that he'd always be there for me and even told my parents that as well, and iehab was like aw that's so cute. And I gotta give credit to him, he has been there always when I've needed him. InshAllah it stays that way no matter what comes of us and he knows if I can help in any way I'll be there too.
I'm seeing A tomorrow and it'll be nice to just chill like me and Iehab did today. Iehabs actually texting me now. I'll get back to her now.
I don't mind having a movie night with A. Just chilled cosy vibes. To laugh loud. Be playful and omg he always used to tickle me. Just love. And the skin traces and omg when he plays with my hairrrr and the forehead and nose kissesssss
Stomach rubs or stomach kisses and ear / neck kisses is an instant 💡
I feel so content tonight.
I also spilled half my milkshake on the floor 😭😂
I'm open with my love and loud with my laughter (unintentionally, unless I'm laughing so hard no noise is coming out lol) . life is so much brighter when lived genuinely.
Honestly everything is so beautiful when you look at life with love. I honestly enjoy the presence of anything, even the seagulls at the pier today when we were sat on the rocks. Like when you realise it's just one life. You look at it all. Even the clouds I was driving the other day looked insane. As if the gates of heaven opened. Look at the world with love and honestly life is more positive. Can't be thinking negative all the time because negative things will happen. I truly believe in that .
Love is not just love .
It's about respect.
It's about follow-through.
It's about safety.
It's about value.
It's about honesty.
It's about timing.
It's about consideration.
It's about appreciation.
It's about reassurance.
It's about care.
With all friendships and relations
Idk what's going on with my health and Iehab was asking about it and I appreciate she cares. But regardless, I'm going to die anyway. I'll probably find out the results tomorrow.
But either way, All the more reason to live life to the fullest. Can't lie I still feel really weak and no change. Didn't have a nose bleed today
But I'm so fatigued, feel so weak, and I hurt from time to time. I know I shouldn't overthink but this week in uni is oncology week and learning about cancers and symptoms which is just great for me, and you know what type of cancer causes "cancer fatigue"? Breast cancer and prostrate cancer. The way ive been feeling so tired through no fault of my own is concerning lately.
The other day I fell asleep in a chair in the afternoon randomly and apparently my mum tried to wake me up to sleep on the sofa or my bed and apparently i mumbled gibberish to her like I couldn't even wake up and I'm a fairly light sleeper.
It could be severe anemia.
Positive thinkingggg plssss
Alsooo I need to stop drinking dairy and milkshakes when I'm lactose intolerant have both the genes for it. Stomach feels funny
Gonna see if I can go gym tomorrow morning but won't push it tho
InshAllah tomorrow is as good as today 🩶
Good night diary
🪐
Happy
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