☆ trapped under ice ☆

☆ thirty five ☆

my heart fell to my knees as i walked towards the front door. i stopped for a moment to say "it's all gonna be okay" .

i opened the door and looked up to see him standing there.

he had his signature messy blond waves with his ocean blue eyes, his face was a little more pale than i remember and he looked quite thin.

he was wearing a leather jacket with a band tee of course. my eyes scanned down to his hands that were also shaking. that made me feel a little more at peace to know that he was nervous too.

but i noticed on his finger he had that same ring i bought him ages ago. my lips instantly curled into a smile. as i looked back up at his face.

he still smelled like that cologne he would always wear, it was addicting that scent.

"hi" i said.

"hey" he said back.

i stepped fully out of the door and closed it behind me. when it was closed i locked it and put the key in my bag.

when i turned around to face him again he looked me up and down and went to say something but then stopped himself. i just shrugged it off, i understood this was a confusing time for both of us.

we walked down the steps together until we reached his truck. he got in the drivers seat and i walked around to get in the passenger.

we didn't talk as we drove. im guessing we were both just having our own conversations in our heads but it wasn't awkward really, it was just kind of like old times.

james softly sung along to bob dylan as it played through the car stereo. i hadn't heard his voice in such a long time, it instantly put a smile on my face.

it didn't take long until we found a cafe but we were struggling to find a park.

i turned to look at him and suggested "ill just run in and grab them, do a lap or something"

he nodded and i asked "what do you want?" he bit his lip for a second thinking hard but ended up just saying "whatever you get" i smiled at him and jumped out of the truck and into the cafe.

i walked up to the counter and ordered two large cappuccinos. i was the only one in the cafe so they made the coffees quickly.

i grabbed them from the table and walked outside again, james was pulling up from down the street.

i walked to the car and handed him his coffee through the window before walking around and getting back in on the other side.

we let them cool down as he drove us to the bridge. as we drove there we talked a little.

"we got a few new songs" james said, keeping his eyes on the road. "oh, sick. got any more gigs coming up?" i asked as i looked at him. i couldn't help but get distracted by the way his blond locks gently moved from the wind.

"not soon but we got a few locked in"  he explained turning to look at me for a second. i nodded in understanding and said " that is awesome - it'll be good fun".

just basic chat like that until we made it to the bridge. it wasn't long before james was reversing into a parking space.

as we got out of the car james reached into the backseat and pulled out a blanket and two pillows.

i watched confused as he chucked them down on the back of the truck and he jumped in to sit down. i smiled at him as i jumped up too and sat down. leaving a bit of space between us.

"so..." he said while looking out at the water.

"how have you really been james?" i asked just getting straight to it. he was quiet for a long time, i looked at him as i saw a bunch of different emotions wash over his face.