Lola McAffrey's Great Disappearing Act

Does Anyone Have Fun Running?

I tossed and turned all night. It wasn't just that I couldn't get comfortable on Liv's couch (which was beginning to poke me in odd places), it was also that I couldn't shake the idea that I was pissing everyone off. It wasn't just Cori—I knew I had pissed Grayson off too. I was the common denominator. What was it about me that was suddenly repelling everyone that was cool? Not that I was admitting Grayson was cool exactly.

I had had enough. It was only five in the morning, but I got up anyway. I was determined to figure this out, one way or another. I showered, I put on the coffee, I even went downstairs to the back room to do a load of laundry. I was on it. The only thing I had left to do for the rest of the day was write a few notes for the project, do my running, and figure out just what it was going to take to get Cori to confide in me again. I thought about Grayson too, but I didn't know him that well. All I could think to do for him was to keep showing up and not letting Liv know about it. Easier said than done.

*

When I walked into Chesterville High that morning, I held my head up. After all, these kids hadn't taken notice of me yet. They didn't know who I was and most of them were too self-absorbed to care. I walked with a confidence you don't get when you are a teenager walking into your own school. Unless you are the popular ones, that is. And I had never been popular. But this taste of what those kids had—it felt good. It still felt odd, but good.

"I'm going to go for my run," I told Liv as she was sorting out some student files.

"Okay."

I changed in the locker room. I thought I knew what I could say to Grayson to repair what may have been the start of a beautiful friendship, so I was a little nervous, but excited. I headed out to the track. Grayson wasn't out there yet, so I started stretching. I went through all my stretches twice waiting for him, but he never came out of the school. I started running my laps. He never showed. With each lap, anger started to build. It wasn't necessarily aimed at him. I was just mad at the world for being turned upside down on me, shaken and stirred.

I finished my laps, got dressed, and headed back to Liv's office. I was careful to knock first to make sure that no student was in there with her.

"Did you have fun running?" She didn't look up.

"Does anyone have fun running?"

I caught a small smile on her face. "Some do."

We sat in silence for a few moments. I knew what I wanted to ask, but I also didn't want to show my cards just yet. I wanted Liv to tell me why Grayson wasn't out there today. She knew that we ran together. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I thought I would be subtle.

"It was kinda lonely out there today." She didn't look up. "I thought you were supposed to send Ms. Francis videos every day."

Liv stopped writing her notes. "To tell you the truth, she only needed to see it once to see that I was being a responsible overseer of your physical education."

"Oh. Interesting." That gave me nothing.

"Just ask."

"Ask what?"

Liv glared at me, but it was accompanied by a devious smile. "You know. Ask me."

I stared back. Two could play this game. "You wouldn't tell me even if I did ask."

"Try me."

"How do you know I don't already know?"
"Because I know everything that goes on around here. You know that." I wasn't even sure I was aware of what we were talking about anymore.

"So? Spill it."

Liv waited, letting the anticipation settle into the silence between us. "It's confidential."

I stood up and pointed a finger at her. "I knew you wouldn't tell me!"

"But I thought you already knew, didn't you?"

I sank into the love seat. "No, I was bluffing. I don't know."

"He's not at school on Wednesdays. He has other arrangements."

"Therapy?" I didn't think she would confirm it, but it was worth a shot.

"You do know more than you're letting on." Liv pushed her chair back from her desk and leaned back.

"That's all I know. But I don't know why he has to leave school for it."

Liv looked around like someone—or something—was listening in. "He's been through a lot of different therapists and doctors. He finally found one that he liked, but his office is in the city. With the commute and all the traffic, it was decided that they could have the day so that Grayson could stay working with him. That's all I can tell you. It's probably too much, but I'm hoping you'll keep it to yourself."

"He's seeing a therapist. Why is everyone treating it like it's the end of the world?"

Liv shook her head. "Just be careful. I realize now telling you to stay away from him just made him look more appealing to you."

"What? No." Yes. It absolutely did. Aunt Liv was one cool chick, but I wasn't going to go all gaga over a guy in front of her. I wasn't like those other girls in my class. It wasn't worth the effort most of the time.

"Kid, I know what I'm talking about. The only thing I ask is that you let me know what's going on. For your sake and for his."

I didn't answer. I wasn't going to admit to a stupid crush. This wasn't how these two weeks of supposed out-of-school bliss was supposed to start.

"Please?"

"Yeah. Okay. I'll make sure to give you a play-by-play the next time I see him." Whenever that happened to be.