What I Didn't See - Ao'nung X Fem Reader

Chapter 14 - Unconciousness

“Buster, we all care for your sister. We all need her to be ok. And she will be-“

“but can you promise that?” I asked, interrupting my fathers attempt to be supportive.

I looked at him. His head hung low as he let out a sigh. He dropped from his crouched position to his knees.

“Seze, if your sister wasn’t here, would you really leave?” My father asked, finally looking up to face me, not hiding the worried look on his face. I looked from him to Kiri.

Kiri was the one person I always felt I could trust. She was the one person I cared for more than anyone. I could talk and connect with her more than the rest of my family.

Did I feel her love and care?

I guess so. But it certainly wasn’t strong. But it was more that I loved her than she loved me. and if she was gone then I don’t think I'd be able to handle living with my family. Not having that one person I felt I could connect with.

I nodded to my father.

“Shit” he mumbled. He placed a hand on my leg, catching my attention.

“Seze…your mother and I love you as equally as everyone else. I don’t think we would be able to handle losing both our daughters.” he whispered, sliding closer towards me.

“It is clear that you love her more than me.” I whispered back, a little shocked at what I had told my father.

“what?” he asked, his eyes darting over my face. I mustered up all the courage I could to tell my father how I felt.

“Kiri has Eywa…I don’t. You don’t love me as much because of it.” I turned back to my sister and let out a small sigh. “At least that’s what I see”

The man next to me stuttered a little, not quite believing what I had told him. His orange eyes tearing up. He felt like a failure as a father. He had always been tough on his kids but he never meant to make any of them feel as though he didn’t love them any less than the others.

“The Metkayina kids are right…I am just a freak.” I turned my body away from my father, wishing he would leave me alone, but he persisted.

“You are not a freak. And do you seriously think your mother and I love you less because of your connection with Eywa?” the man asked. I shrugged my shoulders.

“not just you. But the whole family” there was no point in lying now that I was waist deep in my feelings.

“Buster. We all love you so, so much. Your mother and I had our suspicions about why you had your bad days and why you always went off each day.” The man paused for a second, trying to think about what to say.

“But we love you very much. So do your siblings. I don’t know how we can prove it to you”

“It isn’t you that has to prove it.” I whispered, tears screaming to leave my eyes. “I know it’s there. I know you all love and care for me, deep down in my heart I know. But my mind…It does not let me see it. And the amount of love and care you show me, it pushes it away without a second thought.”

“is that why you isolate yourself so much?” the man asked.

“Can you imagine you are at a celebration at the beach. You are trying to enjoy your time, but you are drowning. All you can hear is people having a great time, laughing. While completely oblivious to the way your body keeps submerging into the water getting heavier by the second, water filling your lungs...that’s what it feels like”