Little Wolves (gxg)

Chapter 18 - Front Winds

It's crazy how much different my life would be if it weren't for the selfishness of a broken man. I could have grown up here, with Avery and Logan and Jo. With Keating and Kiersten. With kind, family-like neighbors that didn't alienate my family. Neighbors that wouldn't gossip or talk behind your back. I could have been apart of this amazing, secret world.

Instead, I grew up in a shit hole that hated my family for something my mother couldn't control. My mother had the worst experience of her entire life and instead of having friends there to help her get through it, she was shunned and punished and looked down upon.

There was so much rage building up inside of me it was hard to swallow. I felt it in my stomach like a witch's cauldron. It bubbled up my throat and spilled bitterness into my heart.

The ferns parted and I stepped onto the lake shore. The water glittered under the pretty morning sky. The mountains were covered in a dark haze. The beginnings of a storm. Thunderheads towered above the peaks, slowly covering the sun. Golden rays peaked behind the clouds like heaven showing itself to the people on the Earth. I sat on a patch of grass near the water.

I don't know how long I sat there for. I was in a daze, not really thinking about much. Just sitting and enjoying the silence around me. I didn't snap out of it until I felt a raindrop plop onto my cheek.

The rain clouds had drifted all the way across the lake, just about over my head. The front winds were picking up, blowing the vegetation sweetly in a cold breeze. I blinked back tears as the wind dried my eyes. I don't like feeling empty like this. I've felt like this most of my life. The only time it changed was the day we moved here.

"I thought I'd find you here," Avery spoke from behind me. I jumped and spun around to find her pushing through the brush. I faced the lake again while she made her way to me. "I can feel you, too, you know, and what I'm feeling right now is making me sad."

I didn't respond. I just kept staring out at the lake.

"I'm sorry I didn't say hi earlier. I freaked when I felt your anger and didn't know what to do," she continued. She sat next to me. I sucked my cheeks between my molars.

"You lied to me," I murmured. Avery sighed and rested her elbows on her knees.

"I know," she said.

"Why?" I spat, and whipped my head towards her. She swallowed hard, then rubbed her thumb over her fingers.

"I had to," she returned. I pressed my eyebrows together.

"You didn't have to, you chose to," I returned. Avery inhaled deeply while staring at the ground.

"Nel, there's a bad side to wolves that you haven't seen. I didn't choose to lie, I physically cannot answer your question. I was ordered not to."

"By who? Your mother?" I laughed humorlessly.

"No," she said. I hummed, not believing her.

"Then by who?"

"I can't say," she replied. I rolled my eyes.

"Of course you can't," I said. "I already know your secret, why do you still have to hide things from me?"

Avery sighed. She looked out onto the lake and squinted her eyes. Then, she turned her head towards me and looked at the ground, slowly bringing her gaze to meet mine. "'Cause you're human, Nel."

Those words broke my heart.