Work Wife

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"Me?" I ask in shock which forces him to look at me again. "Why would I say something?" 

"Stel..." he says with a laugh, "You never liked her. You tried to, I could tell you were trying but I know you and your facial expressions well enough to know you didn't. You're also always transparent with me, it's why I trust you so much. But you held back about her."

"It wasn't my place to insert myself into your love life. You and Ainslee kept doing it, but I never asked to be involved." 

"I know, I wanted you involved because I thought you'd eventually be honest with me and ask me what the fuck I was doing. If you thought it was a mistake, I thought it would be confirmation to end things. But you kept acting like you were happy for me and that Ainslee was great. I mean, you met her friends right? But you never pulled me aside and said anything." 

"Chase, the way you looked at Ainslee and the way you talked about her made her seem like an angel on Earth. No way was I going to say anything otherwise. It would have been crossing a line."

"You're my friend."

"Co-worker."

He glares at me, "Don't say that. I told you in Mexico that you're more than just a co-worker. We've confided in each other and you know Ainslee as well as my other friends do." 

"I thought you were in love with her and she was going to be your future wife. I was happy that you were happy, I would have never said anything otherwise."  

"Will you tell me now? Unfiltered honesty? Was I right to walk away?" His eyes are pleading. He wants to make sure he did the right thing. We have each other's backs here in the office and when we have to make tough decisions. This shouldn't feel any different. I should be able to be bold enough with this just as I am with projects we are on together. He's right, I usually speak up when I think things aren't right. 

"I thought she was too young for you. You seemed to always have a drink in your hand when you were with her and she seemed like she saw money bags when she looked at you. I thought maybe you liked the immaturity and lightness she carries around. She's pretty but I've seen the girls you can pull." 

Chase lets out a surprised laugh and he wipes his face with his hand as he absorbs my honesty. 

"You asked for my opinion. I thought you were rushing into things and it seems like she wanted to get you to the alter so she could start a whole new cushy life with you. I think she's manipulative and catty. Did you rush Mexico because you were afraid? Did she rush things because she was worried you'd change your mind?"

He shrugs as he looks away from me, "I thought I would eventually feel how I was supposed to feel. That the planning and tux rental and bachelor party would get me excited to be a groom. It's so stupid Stella. I just have a hard time letting people down and I didn't want to let so many people down because I was drunk and impulsive." 

He goes quiet and I digest this new information. 

"You seemed happy, Chase. I would have never guessed you felt anything other than excitement about your new bride. You never let any other emotion show other than happiness." 

He snaps his eyes over to me and with a scoff says, "Says the queen of hiding feelings."

"What?" I ask in confusion and he gives me a knowing stare, like he's in on my secret. Because he probably is now in on my secret. Between Ainslee and Logan, there is no way he doesn't know. My body is on fire again and I am sure the color on my face is betraying my secret as well. I flit my eyes away from him, I cannot look at him as I say, "I hid my feelings because they'd never be reciprocated. It was self-preservation."