Whole Truths

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I walk back to my room in my sports bra because I trashed the pink bride tribe tank as I left the locker room. It's clear I am not a part of the tribe. 

My hands are shaking and I'm unsure who to call. I want to call Emma but I also want to text Logan. Mina and my other friends have no idea what is going on and I don't feel like getting them up to speed. I stab the elevator button like it personally offended me and my heart is in my throat as I wait for it to open. 

As soon as I step inside, I realize what my heart has already decided. I'm leaving Mexico. I'm getting away from all of this bullshit and leaving Chase Camden and his bitchy bride behind me. I don't need to do this as it was all a favor to begin with and I no longer feel like helping Ainslee. 

The elevator doors open on the ninth floor and I'm grateful that Logan and his green eyes and long legs are on the golf course as I don't think I could handle running into him right now. 

I think out of all the revelations Lauren bestowed upon me, knowing Logan was feeding information back to public enemy number one hurt the most. The rest I wasn't all that surprised with, but knowing Ainslee was pulling strings to get me disinterested in her fiancé makes me want to scream. 

I think I need to address that first. 

After I storm into my room, my thumbs hover over my keyboard as I contemplate what to text him. I want to write him a novel about being betrayed. I also just kinda want to write him one line about him being a stupid mother fucker. 

I decide on, "How did Ainslee respond yesterday when you told her what I vulnerably told you about Chase?" I hit send and hope I just fucked up his golf swing. I take three steps into the room and drop into a chair to change my flight out of Mexico. I find a nine p.m. flight for tonight and pay the difference to switch. I'll be back in coach, but I really don't care. It's better than Ainslee trying to get me drunk and confess how I feel about Chase. 

I then text Eloise that I have a family emergency and have to leave Mexico immediately. I run her through where all the decor is, the itinerary, and what I was relying on Ana for and I hate that even though I think the Bride can suck rocks,  I still can't help to make sure the event details are tidy. 

Why am I like this? 

Eloise tries calling me, but I can't face her yet. I know she just landed and is on her way to the resort, but as soon as I open my mouth, I know I will start crying and I can't deal with that right now. I also don't want to tell her the entire bridal party thinks I am in love with our boss and the guy I have been sleeping with is in cahoots with the bride. There is just too much to unpack there so I think a vague family emergency is the way to go. 

I dramatically huff once I toss my phone onto the bed. I am so angry as my hands fling my clothes into my suitcase, not bothering to organize it at all. I just need everything crammed in there enough to zip it shut. 

I see my bridesmaid dress hanging in the closet and I decide to leave it. I will never put that on and I never want to see it again. I also toss the silk robes she provided us for tomorrow as mine has Bridesmaid in rhinestones across the back. Don't need that reminder. 

Once I am done cleansing my physical space, I step into the shower and close my eyes under the scalding water to try and tame the pressure that's building behind them. I know my anger is going to make me cry at some point but I don't want to open those floodgates yet. 

I'm mad at Chase for choosing someone like Ainslee to spend the rest of his life with. 

I'm mad that I may have to find a new job because I don't know if I can stomach hearing about them or married life. 

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