Tubbo x ranboo cute royal au story!✨👍

VENTING! (Irl me vent)

Warning:
Sensitive topics
Swearing
Abuse (multiple types)
Self harm and suicidal attempts
Body/facial dismorphia

Hey guys so this is a more sad chapter obviously but I won't be uploading for a while since I've been struggling a lot mentally and I've done some things to myself for reasons that are hard to explain, but I will try my best to tell u without getting into to much detail about myself, so right now I'm in highschool I'm almost 16 And I have been struggling mentally since I was about 8 or 9 and I have always found it hard to ignore the temptations I have when I see sharp objects in 2020 I was left home alone all by myself and I wanted to make some food and I was cutting some cucumber and I had this urge to finally give myself the pay back I deserve for being the way I am. So I took the urge and did it I hurt myself finally after being tempted for so long so ever since it's all I have done for over 2 -3 years now, once I got to my lowest point I have yet and my god did I have the urge to just finally end it all I seemed like a crazy person, I grabbed a rope from my garage and tied it to the light in my room I tried to hang myself before getting caught god has everything been so hard recently. This next confession is from when I was eight my father and me are both English (british) and my mother is German so she dosnt know to much English and thinks some things that they do in Germany are ok here when they aren't but she knows what her and my father were doing to me was horribly wrong, for more explanation I was only 8 and my I came home crying once as I had failed a very important test and got the lowest grades in my class I cried and cried in my room for hours as I waited for my parents to get home from work, once they got home I told them everything my father got mad and started to hit me and yell at me non-stop for over an hour I cried and cried all night trying to sleep but failing to I ran to my room after a while and tried to calm down as it started to work I started to do the one thing that always cheered me up I called my best friend and sang to her on the phone she's always and still is so supportive of me and cares so much if she wasn't my best friend I probably wouldn't be here today. I have always had abuse in multiple ways I am going to name some of them now: physical, sexual and verbal abuse are the only types of abuse I have received, the sexual abuse was from my old male best friend He raped me one night and I never spoke to him again I won't go into detail to keep u all innocent but I have always been a lesbian I know I liked girls when I turned like 7 or 8
And he knew it I will say once thing as he started to rape me he tied me to the guest bedroom bed with ropes and hit me Everytime I squirmed to tried and get out, verbal abuse I always got from my ex friends I won't go into detail about it cuz I can't talk about the specific girl without me wanting to punch her in the fucking face, and of corse the physical abuse is from my parents they have been doing it since I was 8 my dad passed away 8 months ago and I've been a bit better mentally ever since my mother has stopped doing the things she did and now we have a healthy mother daughter relation ship, she has a girlfriend and so do I, I have always hated how I look no matter the amount of compliments or approval I got from anyone, I have been called fat since I was 5 everyone always called me "fat Nikki" or now they call me "fat fucker." I have always been bullied for my weight, acne, personality and more I have always hated myself and I have had this book I wrote all these stories and feelings in this book is where all these things I'm telling u today come from, since I have bad memory I can't remember the past well, but I do know that once the bullying got to the point where someone told me to die and I actually tried it at the young age of 10 years old wow a 10 year old trying to kill them-self how weird huh? I stopped eating for a few days after that and sometimes I still do stop eating to keep skinny I don't wanna be "fat Nikki" ever again and I haven't been called that for months now and god I'm starting to get happier about myself.

This is the end of my venting I just want to say as someone who has obviously struggled a lot during life, DONT BULLY ME OR OTHERS FOR ILLNESSES MENTALLY OR PHYSICALLY PLS!
I HAVE DIABETES TYPE 1 AND ADHD IM COLOURBLIND AND DYSLEXIC COME AT ME IDC BUT DONT FUCKING TELL ME TO SORT MYSELF OUT TRUST ME I TRY TO BUT I CANT.