edge of existence

• 34 •

what does a "good day" look like to you?

yesterday I told a friend

that I had a good day

because I managed to get out of bed

and take a shower

that's not a good day, she said

that's normal

I told her that I had a good day

because I went outside

and sat in the sun for an hour

simply existing in the glow of the morning

that's not a good day, she said

that's normal

I told her that I had three full meals

and I even managed some dessert

and even though I've eaten it before,

it tasted like the best dessert I've ever had

that's not a good day, she said

that's normal

I told her that I went to sleep early

and had beautiful dreams

and when I woke up

I wasn't tired anymore

that's not a good day, she said

that's normal

but I never told her

that I had showered

after days

because I can barely manage

to get out of bed

in the morning

but I felt refreshed after so long

I never told her

that I went outside after months

and it felt good to simply sit there

because I don't like doing anything anymore

but I felt warmth after so long

I never told her

that I had barely eaten anything

for days

because I don't want to nourish

a body I hate being in

and I have lost taste for everything

but I felt worthy after so long

I never told her

that I can never sleep at night

because nightmares plague me

and I cant stop my mind

from thinking too much

but I felt peace after so long  

— selene ☽