The Other Side

26

"Mutt? That's a new one,"

"Yea my mutt. Nigga mixed with so many things and he's so obedient just like a dog I call him mutt,"

"I kinda like that. You must have him real trained?"

"Of course I do. He so naive and gullible. I have him practically brain dead,"

I walked away from the door crying and got back I to the bed quietly wiping my face. How could he do this to me? To us?

We all risked our lives to do this just for him to fuck us over? How dare he? Then he just talks about me like I'm not even human? One of the perks of being a "mutt" is that I have  connections everywhere. I'll show him who's brain dead.

Time to make a call...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cordell P.O.V
"I'm dropping my flag. This shit not for me and I -,"

"Little brother you can't just drop yo flag. That's not how this shit works. I love you and I won't personally put in any punches, but you bled in you gone have to bleed out. You know too much gang. Just relax and we can t-,"

"There's nothing to talk about! This shit has done nothing, but hurt me and I don't want shit to do with any of it! I wnat out. I don't care what happens to me. I don't have shit to li-...I just don't care bro. I wanna leave this shit and leave this fucking state. I'm done with this shit. Y'all niggas not my family and y'all don't have my back. Yea you maybe because you my brother, but the rest of the gang don't fuck wit me. Shit if you knew the real me you wouldn't either," I ranted sighing. "I'm dropping  flag and there's nothing you or anyone else can say. I'll leave the hood and move somewhere else. It's no big deal to me I don't care about shit else anyway. I lost everything and all you care about is the gang. Can you just care about me for once?"

"Why you talking like that? What's so bad about you that's gone ma-,"

"I'm gay. I'm fucking gay Cortlen! I wanna leave. Here's my flag. Tell them niggas tl get over here now and bleed me out. I don't care if that shit kills me, just get it over with so I can go. Matter of fact I'll go to that nigga myself and talk to him," I told him as he grabbed me back sighing.

"Bro you Not fucking gay. You just confused and imma get you some bitches and shit, but out this flag back on right now," he spoken ignoring me.

"No my nigga I am gay! I'm gay as fuck and I'm always gonna be gay. I love fucking men not women. There's not shit you can do to change that so let me go. I don't care about this gang life no more. I wanna leave and I know to homophobic ass don't want me around you no more. Keep that fucking flag and I'm done. Get the fuck off of me," I said pushing him back harshly as he looked at me in shock. I don't even care anymore.

He would be dead in a short while too and I didn't wanna be around when it happened. I just wanted to get the fuck outta here. I haven't talked to Cev since I told him. I just wanted to hear his voice and make sure he was ok, but I heard nothing back from him at all. Not a thing and I wanted so badly to just hear his voice. I knew we couldn't be together with situation. He didn't look at me the same and I know he was going to kill my brother no matter what I said.

I was hoping he loved me enough to spare him, but I understand that pain and grieving that makes you do anything. I often questioned myself with if he killed my brother would I then have to get back for Cortlen? This is how it was here. Just a never ending cycle of fucking death and I didn't want that for us. Even if I was a person who believed in an eye for an eye I could never Cévon. I loved that nigga more than air. I mean isn't it obvious that I did?

I just tatted out my own brother and now I'm sitting here smiling in his face. I'm just like every other east side nigga. Grimy and sneaky as fuck. I gave my own brother up for a relationship that I don't even still have. I deserved this shit. My own blood.

"Cordell!" I heard behind me as I saw the guys chilling on the block smoking and laughing and shit.

"I dropped my flag do whatever y'all gotta do my nigga cause I'm done. You niggas don't really give no fucks about about me and I don't even care. Jumó me or do whatever cause I'm done," I spoke as they laughed looking at me. "I said I'm done,"

"Nigga ain't no-,"

"Fuck east side my nigga," I spoke swinging on one of them as hard as I could before feeling everyone else start jumping me. I covered my face as I hit the ground feeling my ribs get kicked. Fuck.

"Hop in nigga, you just gone let yo brother say that shit? Help us beat this nigga ass," one dude yelled to my brother.

"Nah. I'm not doing that. Y'all got that," he spoke walking away making me sigh as I got kicked again making me wince and cover my self up.

The beating lasted for a long minute making me continue to lay there once they were done.

"Don't show yo face around my hood no more my nigga!" I heard making me close my eyes and sigh. Cant go home, can't go to Cev, can't go to P, can't go home...

It's ok. I have a car for a reason.

I laid there for a while before slowly getting up feeling all of the dried blood on me. I sighed walking back to mt place washing my face off getting rid of as much blood as I could before wiping my couple of tears that fell. I grabbed my tooth brush and toothpaste and put them into a book bag. I grabbed some clothes and and stuffed them into a duffel bag I had along with mt shoes. I grabbed all of my essentials and placed them into bags I had in my closet. I sniffled holding my side in pain before doubling over and groaning.

Fuck bro.

I went into my pantry and my fridge and grabbed some shit that I could take with me to eat. I out all my shít into my car and went back for my big warm comforter and my pillows since I gotta sleep in here.

To "Cortlen":
I love you and I'm sorry

I blocked his number after sending that and I mad Sure i had all my shit before plugging my phone up to my car and and started it up. I turned on the heat in my car. I pulled off from my house and made my way to...I don't know where. I guess I'll stop and get some food. I pulled into the coney parking lot mentally slapping myself. Of course I come here...

I ordered my food and got back into my car pulling up a park parking lot and started eating my food as I listened to some low music. I finished my food before getting out of the car and throwing the container away. I got back into the car and sighed looking around. I gotta turn my car off. I can't have it on all night. I'll do it in a minute.

I picked up my phone and went to my photos seeing pictures that Cev randomly took whenever he stole my phone. I looked at them chuckling at one of the pictures where he was griming me in the background. He so angry. That's my...well was my baby. This shít fucking sucks. He had me blocked on everything as I expected so the only way I could have any of him was by looking at these videos and pictures. I clicked on one of the videos which was a close up of him smiling before furrowing his eyebrows and panning the camera up to me behind him fucking him.

I gave the camera the finger slapping his ass and taking the phone to record my pov once he started throwing it back. Never had a creamer like this. This shit feels illegal to watch almost. I went out of the video and locked my phone looking down at my now hard dick. He's not even here and he does this to me. I'm gonna miss him so fucking much. I already miss him now. I laid my seat back and covered my windows before turning my car off and pulling my comforter over on top of me to warm me up. I grabbed my pillow and closed my eyes hoping to drift off and stay sleeping.

I hate my life.