Thaw out a Second Life

Lingering Inner Conflict

The weather is suitable for a relaxing morning walk, but it appears only Victorious is enthusiastic and cheerful about it. This is obvious with how Tirpitz groans in annoyance and frowns looking at Victorious dragging her against her will.

"You're cooped up in your room.....again! The day is perfect for a walk, you know!"

Victorious heavily pants as she continues to drag Tirpitz by her sleeve since the latter is actively refusing to do as she pleases this time.

"I don't want a walk....." Tirpitz complains and sighs afterwards
"It's no fair you're spending more time with Alabama!" Victorious keeps dragging her
"You're like a jealous child"
"I'm not jealous!" Victorious quickly denies
"Why are you getting angry? I'm just sparring with Alabama"
"I know that......but I feel like you're avoiding me"

Fully annoyed by Victorious throwing a tantrum again, Tirpitz stops in her tracks to prevent Victorious from dragging her away further.

"Tirpitz, ever since the issue was resolved a month ago, I felt like you've been putting me at an arm's distance"

Fortunately enough, Victorious speaks calmly again and gently loosens her grip on Tirpitz's sleeves. As if to soften Tirpitz's unpleasant mood and invoke any form of pity from her, Victorious' tone is a gentle and soft one.

"You're always on guard when around me......and you look at me like a stranger....."

Victorious holds her hand together behind her back and slowly twists her hips much like a child seeking love and affection. This isn't Victorious' normal behavior but her attempt to draw Tirpitz's attention and stop her from avoiding the topic.

"We're longtime friends, aren't we?" Victorious takes a step forward
"Yeah....." Tirpitz responds a bit nervously
"Then why are you looking at me.....as if you're not there at all!"

Frustrated in her own terms, Victorious catches Tirpitz off guard by grabbing collar and pulling her close to her face.

"Are you still the same person as before?" Victorious' grip tightens
"........"

The question only reminds Tirpitz how Victorious is perceptive of her personality since she's the first person she ever called a friend. Each day they spend together is a precious moment for Victorious, so her memory doesn't fail on how Tirpitz acts and speaks when around her.

"Did I change that much.....?" Tirpitz's voice nearly shakes
"It's like not all of you is there when I'm with you"
"......." Tirpitz lowers her gaze
"Now I'm wondering if I know the real you" Victorious bites her lower lip
"........"
"I don't like it.....how it's like you almost see me as a stranger"
"You....." Tirpitz widens her eyes

Victorious looks at Tirpitz directly in the eye, the former's gaze on the brink of tears. Meanwhile, Tirpitz briefly recalls how the Victorious she knows once acted the same - a caring and emotional friend. Even the way they smile, laugh, and frown in worry is nearly identical. It's an aspect Tirpitz has nearly forgotten since what's etched in her memory is the one who made her suffer.

[We'll always be together, right.....?]
[I'm scared of you suddenly leaving......]
[.....because I feel like you'll stop one day.....]
[That you'd just give up.....and disappear......]
[Please don't leave me.....like my comrades did.....]
[I don't want to lose an important friend......]

The memory forced itself even after Tirpitz actively refuses to remember it. To be specific, it's a buried memory that she could barely recognize as existent.

(That's right. This isn't my Victorious.....and this is just the result of a life I've robbed off.....)

Tirpitz separates the two sides of her. Her first life is full of bitterness and regret, but it's what shaped her thoughts and actions, making her the way she is now. As for her second life, it's something she consciously separates as her "possession". The guilt hangs over her, haunting her like a shadow even if she knows her current state is the result of saving at least one rather than losing both.