The Other Side

19

"I think I wanna be single or something. I don't know if I can do the whole gay relationship shit. I feel weird," I told him honestly as I started driving back to my spot.

"Was the sex that bad?" He asked me as I shook my head.

"It was like...perfect," I told him as he looked at me confused.

"So the sex is perfect, he's a good looking dude, he seems real nice and shit, he makes you happy, you love the nigga and he loves you, yet you ghosting him? Care to go into detail? I know you not worried about how other people feel or are looking at you right?" He asked me as I nodded my head.

"I am the other people gang. He made a joke after we were done basically that made me feel a way and all these mixed feelings about everything came back. I don't know what to do. I really wanna see him, but at the same time I don't. I don't regret fucking him, but I just wish I could turn these thoughts off," I told him as he sighed.

"What are you feeling?" He asked me as I sighed.

"I'm feeling weird about myself like when I look at me I don't know who I am anymore. I've never been with no nigga or am doing of this shit, I've never been treating kind like that and sweet and been touched like that or anything. No intimacy shít at all so I guess after he made his comment I just ran for no fucking reason. I don't wanna be clingy or in his face like some nigga or dick obsessed fiend cause I'm not. He's better than me anyway though so it wouldn't be har-,"

"Nigga now be for real, if he showed up at yo house right now saying he was breaking up with you whatchu gone do?" He asked me as I sighed. "Think about it too, the nigga that damn near make you feel like living, the nigga you love and takes care of you, the one who made you feel like a different person in bed, the one who made yo face hurt from smiling...,"

"I would prolly cry," I told him seriously. "Like I can't lose another person I love like that," I told him without hesitating.

"So your problem is with yourself only right? You just internally battling shít? You not even mad at him for saying what he said right?" He questioned.

"I mean him saying it is what triggered me, but no I don't even think I'm honestly mad at him. It's me not him," I told him as he looked at me.

"Then why you taking it out on him?" He asked me making me grow quiet and pull into my drive way. "Look I gotta go take TaTa to the doctors ok? We finding out the gender and shit. Our picnic is in three days. I better see brother man in law there and y'all be acting gay as fuck with each other my nigga. Don't let yo insecurities and bad thoughts ruin this for you. He's good for you man. I've never seen you this happy. You deserve happiness too nigga. I'll be back later after the appointment cause I don't think you need to be alone right now going through all this. I love you Cévon. Real shit. See you,"

"I love you too," I replied as he hugged me before getting out and walking over to TaTa goofily. I can have that. Shit I did, but I allowed myself to push him away. Ruining shit.

Damn.
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I groaned holding my dick in my hand stroking it quickly as I stared cumming while jamming my fingers into me.

"Oh fuck. Shiiiit," I moaned loudly not stopping even after I came. I repeatedly fucked myself with my fingers thinking about Cordell doing it for me. I sighed as the hood feeling still fucking myself at a fast past hoping to get another nut. I kept going feeling myself clench around my fingers as a loud squelching noise sounded letting me know that I was...yaknow...creaming.

Who the fuck have I become?

"C-Cordell," I moaned as started beating my dick again closing my eyes in hope to picture him doing it for me. "Yesss nigga,"